What do you call the offspring of a gerbil and a hamster? Whatever you want.

What's the difference between a duck and a bicycle? They both have handlebars. Except for the duck.

Why doesn't Santa Claus like cantaloupe? Because he doesn't exist. You have to exist to like cantaloupe.

why did kermit cry?Ms.Piggy knocked him out on Christmas and he slept through the party and all of the presents

Q: What's worse than biting into and apple and finding a worm? A: being severely malnourished, thus physically inept to do most simple tasks

What do Richard and Judy have in common? Nothing.

Q: How do you confuse a blond A: You don't they are born that way

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure

How do you make a baby cry? You throw bricks at its face.

Roses are grey. Violets are grey. I am a dog.

what happened to the fish that got washed ashore? it died due to lack of water-borne air particles.

whats better than 1,000,000 dollars? 1,000,001 dollars

How many people like gang rape? 9 out of 10

- Knock knock. - Who's there? - Jehovah - Jehovah who? - Jehovah's Witness - Go f*** yourself.

A guy walks into a bar, sits down, and gives a heavy sigh. The bartender asks, "What's wrong?" The guy says, "Nothing."

What is yellow and dangerous? Shark infested butter

Roses are red, violets are blue, I have a fetish for sniffing your shoes.

the WNBA.

Holocaust jokes are in bad taste, Anne Frankly I won't have any of it.

How do you make someone to shut up You tell them to SHUT UP!

Q: What did blue say to red? A: Let's make some purple

A man realizes the whole time he has wanted to fly like a bird. His funeral was two weeks later

Why did the white man beat the black man in a fight? The white man was bigger. Also, he was a black belt in Brazillian Jiu Jitsu.

a man walks into a bar. it was a metal bar. his balls hurt.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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