Biggest lie in America: Sorry, that was my last stick of gum.

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What's Michael J Fox's favorite toy? While, a magic 8-ball might first appear to be a good guess. Let's be honest, those things really lose their luster after the first couple times. More likely it's something like a sports car or big screen television.

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Why didn't the jew eat pork? He was vegetarian.

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A little boy was walking down the street when a strange looking van stopped next to him and the man driving asked the little boy where he lived, where his mother was, and if he wanted a puppy because he had some in the back seat.... The boy proceeded to enter the van. The man then handed the child a puppy and promptly drove the boy home.

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A blind man walks into a library.

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You wanna hear what's totally out of this world? The moon

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Siri, what is your definition of love? "Let me check on that...Here's what I've found." Google.com search = definition of love

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If there's somethin' strange in your neighborhood Who ya gonna call 911

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Justin's life

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What do you call a man with no arms? Richard, as that is his name.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a tomato.

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If a man shouts in a forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong? He could be, he could not be. It really depends on what he says. The greater concern is that he's shouting alone in the forest. Either he's in trouble or he has a major psychology disorder.

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why should you not go to sleep in public? Because that's how you get raped.

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what looks like a bug, lives in larch mount and lives in a mansion? Aodhan Hearty, lied about the mansion... he lives in a web with his buggy family

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What does the man do to his meat? He beats it.

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What starts with "F" and ends in "uck" Firetruck.

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Who gave Miley Cyrus her new haircut? Hellen Keller

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There was a boy named Johnson. He was a happy boy who had a mother and father who loved. One day he didn't do his homework

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a giraffe walks into a bakery, "can I have 101 brown loafs please?" the baker answers: "hmm I've got only 100 loafs is that ok too?" the giraffe says: "why the hell would I need a 100 loafs?!"

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How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? If a wood chuck could chuck wood, it would depend on whether it wanted to or not. If it did want to, it could potentially chuck an infinite amount of wood in its lifetime

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Why did the giraffe fall over? Because I shot it with a bowling ball cannon,

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Sonny Bono walked into a bar. No, wait, he crashed into a tree.

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why dont you hit a black kid on a bike? its probably your bike.

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Q: Why Marc can't run? A: Marc is a leaf.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops