What do you say to a cat with a helmet on? Silly cat, you rhyme with hat but you shouldn't wear one.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "Why the long face?" The horse replies, "My wife is dying of terminal brain cancer."

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I have a friend named Dave, he lost his ID and now we call mim Dav

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What did the deaf, dumb, blind kid with two stump arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer

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I found an iPhone on the ground at lunch during school. I said, "Wow, I can't believe I just found an iPhone on the ground at lunch during school." Later that day, my principal gassed the kindergarten classrooms with cyanide while shouting, "GO RAIDERS!"

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What is long, hard, cries a lot, and can't fall down a man-hole? A baby with a javelin through its neck.

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What is so sad about 5 black people going over a cliff in a Ferrari? That was my Ferrari by darragh hamilton

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Why was the grandomther crying? She just got pepper sprayed.

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Judge: Why did you hit your wife with a hockey stick, Mr. Johnson? Mr. Johnson: My father and mother were mutually abusive when I grew up. As you may have guessed, this gave me a skewed view of the dynamics between husband and wife, as well as causing me to hide my emotions from myself as a defense mechanism. As a sociopath, I feel no remorse for this occurrence.

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What did the grape do when it got stepped on? Released some juice and burst its skin.

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There's now a sandwich named after Jerry Sandusky, it's got 60 year old meat stuffed between buns barely out of the oven.

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why did the boy call the girl a bitch? Because she was beautiful.

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Why didn't Hellen Keller scream when she fell off a cliff? She was wearing Mittens

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Why is the bowler right handed? He has no left hand.

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Q: Whats Red And Has Socks? A: An Apple, I Lied About The Socks..

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I saw Scarface uncut last weekend. It was called Face

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Whats worse than a baby stapled to a tree? A tree stapled to a baby

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Strength of body Vs Strengh of Mind. Mind: You can lead a horse to water... Strength: Then you can force that mother*bleep* to drink all you want that *bleep* to drink! Strength of body wins, horseless victory.

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Q. what has 2 tums and a boner. A. a horny guy <3

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What's the difference between Neil Armstrong and Michael Jackson? Neil Armstrong walked on the moon, and Michael Jackson is dead....

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knock knock, whos there? the bum bum boys ready to dance :) ``~ ``sms

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Yo momma so old that she should be concerned about mesothelioma and asbestoses, as she may have lived during a period of increased asbestos use. She may also be at risk of osteoporosis and should take vitamin supplements daily to improve her rapidly deteriorating health.

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the middle of the ocean? A tragic drowning victim. And later, food for sharks, probably.

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Q: where was Johnny during the bombing? A: everywhere

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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