You know what topping goes bad with ice cream? Chloroform

Two black guys were walking down a street to meet up a local drug dealer. Turns out the black guys were undercover cops who arrested the drug dealer and both recieved awards for finding the criminal.

(waving left hand) Why doesn't Queen Elizabeth wave with this hand? Why? Because this is my hand.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Which is rather deceiving, Considering that the name 'violet' should naturally insinuate that the object it is describing is violet as well. Violet as a color is generally a deep shade of purple. Therefore, shouldn't the aforementioned plant, the 'violet', be violet in color as opposed to the blue color that is most widely accepted by the general populous?

Why was the boy laughing at Sally? Because Sally was a man

they say a rolling stone gathers... speed until it reaches maximum potential speed and cannot go any faster.

What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

two flowers in a meddow recently bloomed a cow came over and ate them, and the cow died of herpes the next day

Colloqiual irregularities are a significant part of the English language, and excellent example of this is between can and may.

Q:Why did the little girl jump in the pool and drown? A:because she didn't know how to swim

How many black people does it take to for there to be a murder? None. A murder is a group of crows,not black people.

Your mother's so ugly she has low self-esteem

2 drums and a cymbal fall off a cliff. Bu dum, cshhhh.

yo momma is so poor that she may not be abe to accumulate the right amount of revenue necessary for your college funding.

Where did the RICH black man go to? His home

What does an elephant and a grape have in common? One of them is purple.

What has straight black lines and is square? A refferee.

Why didn't the mexican make the basketball team? He had never practiced and was overweight

Whats worse than a baby stapled to a tree? Holocaust

Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven hundred and eighty nine.

A train conducter conducts goes at 60mph, when he goes under a bridge he goes at 52mph. When he goes over a hill he goes at 47mph. If he goes under 3 bridges and over 6 hills what did the conductors mother eat for dinner that night. Nothing, after many months of suffering she died from Huntington's disease.

What did the Amazonian tribesman say to the European explorer? Nothing, he was focussing on eating him.

I don't get it

Why did the chicken cross the road? Um...thats impossible because chickens live on farms theyre are no roads....

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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