Would you like to go to my jinga party, if you do save the date 9/11?

Gary: Stick your tongue out and say "I live in a pirate ship" Bruce: *sticks tongue out* "I lib inna pile of shiiit."

How many dead babies can you fit in the trunk of a car? Any number if compressed sufficiently. At neutron star density all babies in the world would fit.

Yo momma's so fat that when she asked the doctor, he said she could have such bad cardiovascular problems if yo mamma keep the typical sedentary habits, wich consist in a diet with a lots of fat and sugar, the lack of physical exercise and genetical characterists which make a person get fatter more easily.

why did the cow cross the road because he wanted to go to the mooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooove

I saw a number three walking past me in the street the other day and I thought to my self that's odd.

Man 1- What's red, black, and white all over? Man 2- What? Man 1- Half a penguin! Man 2 became seriously disturbed from this joke, as he saw the movie Happy Feet two days ago. He went to intense therapy and became mentally deranged.

Violets are blue, Roses are red, We're doing it backwards, That's what she said.

Caroline Kelly...Tight Butthole

What did one teacher say to the other teacher? We're both under-payed.

Knock-Knock Who's there? The UPS guy dumb ass

Guess What!? What?! GIGGITY GIGGITY GOOOOOOOOO!!!!! (ALL RIGHT) OH.

Im Harold Camping.... and i enjoy scaring the shit out of you

Q: What's the upside to your otherwise miserable life? A: You only got raped twice last week.

2 muffins are in a oven for 30 minutes, the baker then questions why he only baked 2 muffins.

What do you call a girl who has recently been raped? Dead.

Why did the boy get nothing from Santa on Christmas? His parents died the night before!

Why did the chicken cross the road? He was a recovering alcoholic who recently relapsed and drove his car through his garage. He took his anger out on his wife and kids. His wife kicked him out and filed for divorce. Conveniently, the liquor store is across the street.

Why did the student have a staring contest with his teacher? Well, the teacher was actually unaware of the competition.

How do you write an anti-joke? With the keyboard Or voice recognition software

What do you get when you cross a helicopter, elephant, and a rhino? Heliphino

What did the poor boy get for Christmas? Orphaned.

Q. Why did the fence break? A. Too many mexicans were climbing it.

wut did the cow say to the other cow thet's get a moo shake

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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