how do you know if a fish is gay? you ask it

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What is the answer to life, universe and everything? Nothing.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? It's the nazis we have reason to suspect that you are harboring illegal jewish fugitives and would like to check your house if it isn't too much trouble on your part.

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Yo momma is so fat that she is overweight

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why did Dayrl win the wheelchair race? Because he had working legs.

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Gretta has five legs? -no

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What has eyes but can't see? A blind person.

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knock knock..... ding dong...... knock knock!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! they weren't home

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The first train go fowards at 250 mph, and the second train takes a left, how many pancakes are on my rooftop? - The answer is purple because aliens don't dribk coffee

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why dont black people celebrate thanksgiving? kfc is closed on holidays

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You bumder!

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How do you pick up girls in Auschwitz? With a dustpan

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Knock Knock Who’s there? Tom Tom who? Tom Pearson? Oh Tom, I wasn’t expecting you til 3pm, please come in.

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what has hair and can fly? a human.. i lied about the flying.

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What did the raisin say to the toaster? Nothing. The raisin lacks a central nervous system, and the toaster is an inanimate object.

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How do you get a black man out of a tree? You help him down.

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There are 2 women at a bus stop. One of them has a swollen belly. The pregnant woman says to the other one, "I'm expecting a baby." The other woman responds, "That's too bad. I'm expecting a bus, at least that'll help me."

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A rabbi and a priest walk into a bar, they manage to have a delightful evening, despite their religious differences.

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Why did the teacher ask her student about the test? Because she was in the hospital the day of the test because her husband was hit by a rail road spike and died but she was so devoted to her job she wanted to know.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Hurricane Irene.

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Why did the little girl miss 7 straight days of school? She died.

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Why did the koala fall out of the tree? It was hit by a fridge.

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Gotta disappoint you there, you see there are hundreds, perhaps thousands of similar organizations which work for the government, and those I work for are black ops, meaning that I would be putting my life in danger if I told you anything about it besides that fact. Its not listed anywhere, its not FBI, its not legislated by any government yet many governments invest their funds there, you could call it something like the interpool, and something like the underground society, except its multi-government driven... A term I sincerely do not fully understand myself, I have certain talents I put to use, but I lack the education in order to be more than a employee for these people.

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Why couldn't the child with down syndrome zip up their jacket.... it was a button jacket ... you asshole

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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