Hickory dickery dock, two mice ran up the clock. The clock struck 1 and the other got away with minor injuries.

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What did the hedgehog say to the beaver? Nothing, they can't talk.

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Why do so many black people like watermelon? The same reason so many white people, do. Have you had that stuff, it's really good!

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Whats worse than pulling down a girls pants and seeing a giant furry bush... finding out her vagina has teeth in it.

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when life gives you lemons, force a hobo to eat them because lemonade is going to suck if life doesnt give you any sugar.

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What hurts more than a papercut? A chainsaw between your legs.

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Friends are like balloons When you stab them they die.

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Why didnt the chicken cross the road? Because he got hit by a bus.

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Your mom is so fat, she went to the hospital, and they intern, turned her exess fat into 12 babies.

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What is the leading cause of death? - Dying.

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Yo mama's so fat, that she died from obesity.

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If a blonde and a brunette fell off a cliff who would reach the ground first? The blonde because she was fatter.

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You know what's funny? You got AIDs

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why did the squrill leave his home an ax-man cut it down

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Why wouldn't anyone want Helen Kellers dog? It's been buried for a long time...

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how do you stop santa from laughing? snap his neck.

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a pan of muffins comes out of the oven one muffin says "hey im really burnt" another muffin says "oh my gosh! a talking muffin!"

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When life gives you lemons You've got some lemons.

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Q:whats the difference between a black man and a bunk bed A: a bunk bed can support 2 kids

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Double-whammy

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A man says hello to his best friend in the morning like he always does. Why did his best friend not reply? The mans best friend is not real and is actually a figment of the mans imagination because he has been suffering from a severe case of schizophrenia his whole life and has many imaginary friends.

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No soup for you!

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do you know what happened to the bravest warrior in the battle who got stabbed in the foot while trying to rescue puppies from a burning building and dying children? well he took the children and puppies home, and ate them. then the SWAT came in and killed him. so yeah... oh... suck my a s s barf

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So a train conductor is going at 70 mph to to a destination 50 miles away. He goes over 3 hills, one at 20 mph, the other 42 mph, and the last at 63 mph. He crosses 2 bridges at 47 mph each. What did the train conductors mom eat for dinner that night Nothing she had cancer and died.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops