Don`t be mean? WOMAN! DO YOU NOT HOW TERRIBLE THE DEMAND YOU MAKE IS? ...Fine alright, I wont leave you hanging then... So I wont call. Moral: "Seriously though, I am leaving too, but I want the top comment"

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Hey i just met you, and this us crazy! Heres some toilet paper, wipe my ass maybe?

thumb_up thumb_down -28

why was the little boy happy? Because he wasn't in the penn state locker room.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

ive been a naughty girl, and i need something to plug my hole. call or text me;) 1 (802) 299-5281

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Knock Knock. Who's there? Boo. Boo who? Doctor Harold Boo, I was your grandmother's primary caregiver, I'm here to inform you that she died of a massive heart attack.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

What do you call a woman in the kitchen? Her name.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Whats black and runs really fast? Usain Bolt

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Q: How do you turn a purple panda into a red panda A: Feed it grey poop and because it tasted so bad it got so mad it turned red.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

What did the unicorn say to the horse? I have a horn and you don't.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Why did the Hispanic woman cheat on her husband? Because he couldn't maintain an erection, was boring, and collected stamps.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

why did suzy get hit by the bus because she got dumped into the road and she had no legs

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Girl fight: Teachers take them to dq Boy fight: Lunch and recess in the library.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Q: How many Marys does it take to drive you crazy? A: Just one ::stares at Mary Annoyingly::

thumb_up thumb_down -28

A horse walks into a bar, and the bartender says "why the long face?" The horse says "I just found out I have AIDS"

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Why does an ostrich have such a long neck? Because its head is so far from its body.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

what happens when a hamster bites your arm? your arm bleeds

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Well, first of all, what I have overcome both mentally (trauma) and physically (lots of shit) is in the past, lets leave it there. Second yeah, I can basically shift my sense of left and right at will, meaning I can choose which arm to write with, and write things mirrored without even thinking about it, I can fool my senses basically, one second I struggle playing the piano because I have just trained with one, then I make my brain believe I have been practicing with both, its simple, but complicated to explain, while my ears are perfectly normal, I got two sets of balance nerves, it just gets more complicated from there.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

(two firefighters are climbing an undersea mountain in Brazil) Why do elephants fear the natural causes of silver icecream cones? Because the cars in the parking garage jump the moon while doing jumping jacks.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

What do you call someone like Sarah Palin? A tragic victim of America's flawed educational system. But hey! She learned one thing though! Russia is right in her own backyard! Oh wait that would be wrong unless her backyard stretched all the way across Alaska and the Bering Sea. So she didn't learn anything at all. OK she's just dumb

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Yo mama is so stupid... She didn't graduate high school.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

An Asian man walks into a bar and ask the Barman for a beer, the Barman is racist and therefore tells the Asian man to leave his pub. The man goes home and drowns his children in the bath and pushes his wife down the stairs, he is found out by the police and is given a life sentence in jail. 5 years later the Barman kills someone in a bar fight and is also sent to jail for life. The Barman meats the Asian man in prison and they settle there differences with a handshake. Two days later the Barman was stabbed in the neck.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

your goin down...aint no tomorrow...wha bang bang

thumb_up thumb_down -30

What do you call a child sitting alone in the back of a bus? Anti-social and on the verge of depression.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

A black man is driving a nice car when he's suddenly pulled over by the police. "Do you know why I pulled you over?" asks the cop. "No officer" replies the black man. "You have a taillight out. However I'm going to just let you off with a warning because you seem like an upstanding citizen. Have a nice day."

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops