What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a tree There isn't a tree in my garage

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Q: What's worse than finding a fly in your soup? A: Getting your face smashed with a hammer.

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How do you get a black man out of a tree? You provide him with a ladder of varying length depending on his height in the tree and hold the ladder to ensure that it is stable and safe while he is climbing down. If he his very high in the tree then it may be helpful to call the fire department for assistance in getting him down.

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what's the difference between a crocodile?

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what do you call an evening with richard? a waste of time

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Where did Sudie go during the bombing? Everywhere.

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How do you get a black man out of your seat? You ask him very nicely with a great attitude.

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Knock Knock Who's There? Ted. Oh, Hey Ted.

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A black man and a hispanic man are in a car. Who is driving? The guy who didn't call shotgun.

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Chuck Norris was in a staring contest with the sun. He's blind now.

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Why did the man cross the road? Because he couldn't get his dick out of the chicken

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So a seal walks into a club.

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Man 1: Did you hear that one about that girl who killed herself? Man 2: No Man 3: Yeah, neither did I

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A man walks into a bar gets drunk gets in his car and has a terrible crash because he was to intoxicated the end.

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What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? We're both lawyers.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have a gun! So I KILL YOU!!!!

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Two muffins are in an oven. They say absolutely nothing because they're muffins and not sentient.

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Why couldn't the girl find a date to the prom? Because she was really, really ugly.

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Sarah lost both arms in a car accident Knock knock Who's there? Not sarah. Roses are red Violets are blue Wow. Clever Knock knock Who's there? Still not Sarah, as she is in a serious condition at her local hospital, and so is fighting for her life.

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What do you call a person with no arms or legs? I don't know, that's why I asked you.

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roses are red violets are blue I have a knife stand by the door

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, In Soviet Russia, Poem writes you.

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Why did the Mexican jump the fence? He was at his neighbors house and it was shorter to cut through yards than to walk to his house

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Who went shopping on Saturday? There is a reason I put a question mark there, so you guys could reply. Not so I could respond myself.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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