A schizophrenic walks into a bar. He has dual personalities and does not realize that he has murdered his family.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

yo momma is so ugly, she attempted to get plastic surgery and then died from the amount of blood loss she got when the surgeons realized her head was filled with tumors and they failed to extract them.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Do you still got what it needs to become a better leader than me Nero?

thumb_up thumb_down -19

why did benny go to the 4th grade school nurse? he had a massive erection.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What do a black lesbian, Adolf Hitler and Jesus have in common? They are all the subject of this question.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Q: What's black and white and red all over? A: A bleeding penguin.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Bro: Aww Dawg! What if they tell me I got da aids? Dawg!: Hey don worry bro, you gotta BE POSITIVE

thumb_up thumb_down -19

How do you make a boy cry? Pour hot soup on his head.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why wasn't the woman happy when she gave birth? Because she was thrown into a pool of semen 9 months ago.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

How did the drug addict die? He got shot in a drive-by.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What do you do when you're given a phonebook? You ask for their name.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What do u call a six year old boy holding a gun. illegal

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Q:how do you fit 100 jews in a car? A:2 in the front 3 in the back and the other 95 in the ashtray

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why did the man cross the road? His mother had recently passed away after a 12 year battle with lung cancer and is visiting her tombstone.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

You know what's good for shoulder pain? If you ice on for 20 minutes then off for 20 minutes repetitively three times a day

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What do you call a black pilot? A pilot... are you racist?

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why is Apple so successful? Well, that is not a question that can be answered simply. Many factors are involved in this, including but not limited to marketing, customer support, and smart business strategy. For more information, please visit Apple's website.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

I'd love to submit an anti joke, but unfortunatley I don't own a computer.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

How do you earn a bunch of money all at once? Walk into Hot Topic and say "I have knives for sale!"

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What would Jesus say if he was alive today? “Nehwê tzevjânach aikâna d'bwaschmâja af b'arha.”

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why did the hipster's coffee burn his tongue? He drank it before it was cool.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't he got ran over half way.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Your momma's so fat, she died on the operating table during her bypass surgery.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Chuck Norris was once approached by a woman for whom he had to fight a man to obtain all while doing a mundane activity in an unorthodox manner. He promptly declined for he is married and told the man he only fights for self-defense. He proceeded to put his pants on one leg at a time like everybody else.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops