My brother gave my mom AIDS. My mom gave my dad AIDS. My dad gave my dog AIDS. My dog gave me AIDS. I gave my sister AIDS. My sister called the police because of the wild case of AIDS.

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How long does it take jimmy hoffa to screw in a light bulb? A: Jimmy Hoffa is dead and incapable of screwing in a light bulb, however if you change the tense of the question to "how long WOULD Jimmy Hoffa HAVE TAKEN to screw in a light bulb" then the approximate answer would be around 1 1/2 minutes if Mr Hoffa had proper dexterity an motor control that was comparable to the average human.

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Future last words Guess who edition: "This new prototype Ferrari XZ handles like a God even at full speed!...Well, if God had no brakes and his turning ability suddenly disappeared when going at over 300 kilometers per hour that is..." "Uh oh now! Another heart attack! Where is mah medical weed? SHAAAAAROOOOOOON!" "Please haters, lower your guns, I will stop singing! Beliebe me!" Moral: "OMG I AM ONLY THE SIXTH MOST USELESS THING NOW!" "MY BODY IS NOT READY! Urgh mah chest... CHAROOOOOOON!

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What is funnier then 25 9/11

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Why did Bill correct Matt when he called him Jim? Because that wasn't his name.

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How do two blondes stay alive at the bottom of a pool for 30 minutes? They don't and they died

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How come Susie fell off of the swing? -because I hit her with an axe

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Obama = ebola

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q: why won't the asian girl do anything? a: it's pretty hard to move or speak being gagged and tied up in my basement

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So a priest and a rabbi walk into a bar. They order some wine and have an enjoyable evening.

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What's worse than an arrow to the knee? -A bullet in the head.

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if chuck norris had 5 dollars and you had 10 dollars you would have 5 dollars more than Chuck Norris

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, You know what? SCREW YOU!

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock, Knock. Who's there? Not Suzie

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Why was the boy sad? Because a freak accident killed his mum his dad his best friend and he lost both his legs and is unable to feed himself

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why did the mexican work for a lawn care service I don't know why don't you ask him

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mary poppins' handbag is full of dick

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a man was cooking a tortilla. what did he say when he dropped it while flipping the tortilla? oops i dropped my tortilla

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What did the man say before he died? I am going to die.

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A Blonde Goes On "Who Wants To Be A Millionaire"

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What's worse than having two girlfriends at once. Seven. Seven girlfriends. All across America.

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Father Time and Mother Nature did the nasty, and had a kid called humanity. It had down syndrome. Very sad.

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A man goes into a bar. He leaves drunk and beats his wife to death and burns the house and kids.

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What's long, hard, and contains semen? A submarine.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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