How do you make your father cry? Poke him in the eye with a shovel, then continue to lower his self esteem with insults.

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Q: Why was the boy sad? A: Because his mother just got raped.

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A man walks into a bar. He leaves a large rucksack by the pool table and walks out. The rucksack then explodes and kills 13 people because it is the height of the Troubles and the man is a member of the IRA, who targetted the bar because it is regularly visited by British servicemen. The media extensively cover the story, and the two sides of the conflict in Northern Ireland decide that the bloodshed must stop, which eventually made way to the Good Friday agreement of 1998.

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How do you make spongebob come to Life? You kiss him????????

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Why did the car stop? It ran out of gas.

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what did pedobear say to the 60 year old man nothing he was too busy molesting the girl across the street

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whats worse than 9/11? not much haaaa

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what is the worst thing to find out about for wife she is your arm

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How many inches of snow are there when the fireplace burns for 10 minutes? Red chickens

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Why is meth so addicting? Why? Hang on, i gotta go do some meth

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What do you call a rich black person? A: Oprah

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George Bush=Bush Dick Cheny=Dick Colin Powell=Colon Condoleezza Rice=Rice One of these doesn't belong here.

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Women's rights

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Two guys walk into a bar, have a good time, and exit the bar, relatively sober. They are driven home by a friend who agreed to be the designated drive for safety purposes and enjoy the rest of the evening with their wives, to whom they are happily married. Then the joke ends abruptly.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, This is a poem, Penis knuckle.

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What's worse than a crying baby on a trans-Atlantic flight? A hungry lion on a trans-Atlantic flight.

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Hi! Do you know how much a polar bear weighs? Roughly 1150 pounds if a full grow male.

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Whats slower than molasses? Slightly thicker molasses.

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READ IT ALL> whats the difference between a jew and a pizza...the jew is a human with living features and organs that keep his body hydrated while also keeping his blood pumped throughout him, otherwise the pizza is a circular, doe based cake like food topped with a fine layer of cheese and in some cases topped of with other substances such as pineapple or ham :)

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, My name's Dave, Microwave!

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What did Newton say to Einstein? Nothing, Newton was dead before Einstein's birth.

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Q: Whats pointy and sharp and rhymes with life? A: A spear. It's close enough.

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A man walks into a bar after a hard day of work, and he meets this girl and they really kick it off, so the girl says, "lets go somewhere more, private" and they both go to a more secluded bar that has less decibels of noise.

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A blind man walks into a bar. It was a book shop.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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