What did the one battery say to the other? Nothing. Batteries can't talk.

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Yo mama is so old, that it's becoming apparent that she is most likely developing severe senial dementia

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Why did the Asian crash her car? Someone shit on her windsheild.

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what do mexicans cross? whatever they want. but in this case their local grocery store parking lot to buy fresh produce.

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make me a sandwich! what kind?

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Have you seen Stevie wonders new house? Neither has he.

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How do you know when you have had too much to drink? When you ran over 7 pedestrians and are lying in the back of a police vehicle

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Why didn't the lttle boy fasten his seatbelt? It doesn't matter, it's too late now.

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what is worse than gay sex wiping your ass with sandpaper

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What's black and white and red all over? A newspaper. No. A nun with a terrible nosebleed. Nobody ever reads the whole newspaper.

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Chuck Norris never shows emotion!!!... because he is a pragmatic person and thinks in a more logical manner.

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A: Why did the chicken cross the road? B: Why? A: If I knew I wouldn't be asking you.

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What happened to the man who grew into the couch? He was surgically removed and forced to exercise daily. He is feeling much better now.

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What part of a vegetable are you not supposed to eat? His wheelchair.

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Why didnt the teenager have a smartphone? He didnt live close to a cell phone store

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A white police officer pulled over a black guy on the highway. The cop asked him for license and registration. The black guy had a tail light out, and was very polite and cooperative. The two became close friends, but then one night, the black guy went to the house of the white cop. The black guy brought his wife and daughter over for a dinner party, eating grilled turkey sandwiches with mayonnaise. When the cop's attractive wife asked the black guy if he would like some fresh watermelon from the patch in their back yard, he respectfully declined, for he needed to return to his own home to patiently wait for a business call from one of his employees, who was also a very intelligent and hard working African male. Once home, the black guy turned on his stereo, to listen to some calming country music at an appropriately low level of volume, as his daughter and wife had gone to sleep, for the wife also had work in the morning, at her law firm, and her daughter had a job interview after her day of classes at Dartmouth were out for the day... then Martin Luther King Jr. woke up from his dream, and was soon thereafter assassinated.

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How do you cut the sea in half? You can't. There are an odd amount of letters. You would have to jeopardize the "e", but then it would no longer be "sea".

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So, this cheerio is in love with a beautiful frosted cheerio. He asks her on a date. She says no, because she only dates other frosted cheerios. So the cheerio works really hard at his job and is promoted to a honey-nut cheerio. So he asks her out again. She says no because she only dates frosted cheerios. So he works even harder and is made a frosted cheerio. He asks her out again and she accepts. 4 months later after a relationship built on trust and understanding they are married and live a long and fullfilling life together.

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A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

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Why couldn`t Sally open the jar? Because she did not have thumbs.

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What's worse than the holocaust? Finding a worm in your apple.

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What sound does a baby in a blender make? I don't know, I was too busy masturbating.

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Who lives in a pineapple under the sea?! No one... pineapples float.

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NA LINDOL BA KAPAG NATALON ANG MATATABA :8

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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