Why wouldn't anyone want Helen Kellers dog? It's been buried for a long time...

thumb_up thumb_down +29

What happened to the alcoholic man that decided to never drink ever again? He died of thirst. Moral: Alcohol was the only available liquid in this twilight zone... Anti anti joke

thumb_up thumb_down +27

The Dali Lama walks into a pizza parlor and asks the owner to make him one with everything. After 20 minutes or so the owner brings the Dali Lama a pizza with every available topping. After he finished eating the Dali Lama thanked the owner and left a nice tip.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Two black guys walk into a bar the bartender says get out

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Q: How many teenagers does it take to change a lightbulb? A: None, they just sit in the dark and complain about it.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Q: How do you starve a Black family? A: By not giving any Food.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What do you get when you cross a badger and a paper bag? The badger is cross of course but the bag is inanimate and can't be angered.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Why did the duck turn black? an oil spill

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Whats blue and smells like red paint? Blue paint.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What do a goat and an eagle have in common? They both can fly, except for the goat.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

A horse walks into the bar. The bartender asks "why the long face" Turns out the horse's family died that evening.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

A blind man walks into a bar. Nobody is surprised.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Why was little Mat petting his dog? Just kidding his dog died in a house fire... so did little Mat

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Darth Vader: Luke, I am your father! Luke: You're not my dad!!! HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAAHA PENIS

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Why was 6 afraid of seven? seven commited statitory rape on a younger 5, gang banged 8, murdered nine, was sent to jail for life, let out early for community service, and told 6 he was coming forhim 6 months later.... 6 commited suicide by jumping off a cliff his body was never found his family didnt get to say good bye thats why 6 is afraid of 7

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall Humpty Dumpty had a great fall, He cracked his skull and died on impact. He will be missed.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Why did Helen Keller's dog run away? You would too if your name was Gnrwhaf

thumb_up thumb_down +25

One time i was sitting down

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Why did the chicken cross the road? For a legitimate reason

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Why did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What do you call an Arab flying a plane? A terrorist. What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot. What are you racist or something?

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What fruit is used to make apple juice? Apples

thumb_up thumb_down +25

how do you prevent a chicken from contracting aids?? you make him a little chicken condom.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What kind of cheese isn't yours? Someone else's.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops