What's the only thing better than winning a gold medal in the special olympics? Not being retarded.

Why were 5 tall white guys sitting on a bench? They were in the NBA

Ask me if im a tree Are you a tree? No.

why was the Jewish person accused of stealing money? because the police found his finger prints.

"I never want to see you again!" shouted Stevie Wonder to the genie in the bottle, as a young boy.

u know whats a crime? rape

Why are plants green? Plants are green due to the chloroplast organelles found in their cells. These membrane bound organelles are exclusive to plant cells and are used to convert sun light to usable chemical energy. This energy is stored in the form of ATP molecules, or adenosine triphosphate. When one of the three phosphate groups of an ATP molecule is removed, the molecule releases the energy put into this bond and becomes ADP, or adenosine diphosphate. Throughout this process, the organelle fulfills its sole function and at the same time gives plants their green color our eyes perceive today.

Why did Isaac run from his mother? She tried to kill him because God said so. Christianity.

What does a black guy get for Christmas? your bike.

Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

What is green and drives around in the desert and is not a tank? secretly a tank

Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, This joke is stupid, Chuck Testa.

Wanna hear a dirty joke? A pig fell in the mud.

ohai. whutz en ahntei johk? sownz soopihd.

It was Jimmy's 18th bday so his parents let him have the house to himself. He ate shrooms, fucked his turtle, then had his dick bitten off.

What's the difference between a dead baby and an orange? One is a deceased human infant and the other is a delicious citrus fruit.

have you seen stevie wonder's harmonica? neither has he.

why did the little girl eat grapes? because she felt like it.

Knock Knock The occupant uses their peephole and realizes it is a familiar face then proceeds to let them in.

Roses are red Violets are blue What about pansies

whats brown and booky a book.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it felt like it.

Ever heard nobobys perfect well ill name my kid nobody therefore he will perfect

Q: Why'd the guy have to fart? A: There was a buildup of methane gas in his colon.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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