Patient: Doctor, do I have cancer? Doctor: Yes. Patient: Will I live? Doctor: No. Patient: So what do I do? Doctor: SUCK IT UP!!!

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Why was the man with one leg good at balancing on one foot? He used crutches.

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Feel free to call me, forget the money, as for my fucking eye, I just sure as hell hope those responsible are rotting in prison. I mean I just lost an eye right? Just kidding, I am the one who has been dead wrong here, I judged you wrong, I am the fuck that seems to feel responsible for the actions of others at times, then again I thought that you where sending them against me, they surely claimed they where, but fuck, people use all sorts of things and people as an excuse to do whatever the hell they want.

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You know what's worse than finding a worm inside an apple? finding crack, too late to spit it out.

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What's Pi times the square root of a panda's earlobe? Panda's do not have earlobes... thus the answer is inexplicable.

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what is red with 2 legs? half a cat

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My friends and family all recommended me for alcoholics anonymous, but all i had to say is that my father didn't raise me to be quitter.

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Roses are red Violets are blue You're a whore

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Billy wanted a toy for Christmas. Sadly, Billy died before Christmas.

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Rebecca Black walks into a bar. The bartender refuses to serve her because she is not yet 21.

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women's rights.

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Any similarity between Jesse and a human is purely coincidental!

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What did the white man say to the black man? Did you see the game yesterday?

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If Jimmy had 5 apples and his brother had 5 apples then their father would have been married to their mother before they were born.

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I agree to the terms and conditions

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Where did Jenny go after the explosion? Everywhere

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So a man and his wife were in a horrible car accident. The man died, so why isn't the wife mourning his death? Because she is also dead. But, do you know who did mourn and cry over this horrible tragedy? Their children, other family members, and friends.

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why is your grandfather climbing up a pole? hes not

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If you're American when you go into the bathroom , and you're American when you come out of the bathroom, what are you when you're in the bathroom. Ha, joke is on you because Americans don't pee.

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why did the geman man hit the jewish man? because the jewish man swung a punch at the german man so it was an act of self defense.

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Why is Diarreah genetic? It runs in your genes.

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Yo Mama so ugly I don't know how she found your dad.

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Why was the house on fire? A dog peed on it.

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she was a woman.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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