Ask me if I'm a tree..... "are you a tree?" No.

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My wife is so fat that I find her unattractive.

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Your momma smells so bad that she purchased arm and hammer products to improve upon her natural scent.

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Sometimes you have to stop and smell the roses. Unless they are next to the trashcan where you put your little sisters diapers

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What is white, black, and red all over? A: A zebra being slaughtered.

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What did God do to help the little girl with terminal cancer? Nothing, God doesn't exist.

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Why was the white man chosen for the job over the black guy? He had more work experience and was clearly the better suited applicant.

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Who didn't let the gorilla into the ballet? The people who were in charge of that decision.

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Why wasn't Susie happy? because she was raped by her grandfather.

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One day... Jack: Good morning Ben: Good morning The End.

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How do you greet your great great grandmother born in 1738? Hey, what's up, hello.

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A man walks into a doctors office. The doctor says "I've got good news and bad news. Which do you want first?" The man responds "Let's have the good news." The doctor says "I ran a series of tests and found you have leukemia, but your insurance paid for everything." Shocked, the man asks "What's the bad news?" The doctor answers "Your company is switching to a private insurer and because of your pre-existing condition you're being denied coverage. None of your future treatments will be covered."

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What color is the bus? Yellow What color is the bus? Yellow What color is the bus? Yellow What color is the kid? Red because he got hit by the bus.

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Two pandas walked into a bar. The bar was in china.

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roses are grey violets are grey i am a dog woof woof

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Inspirational speaker: "You can judge a man by the way he treats those who can do nothing for him." Me: "Hitler loved dogs."

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What's red and invisible? No tomatoes.

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Why did Rainey fall off the swing? She had no hair.

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A man walks into an illegal brothel. He is a cop. He takes them back to the police station and questions them in a completely asexual manner.

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Roses are red violets are blue. Yes.

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SHUT UP, yes you... WHAT DID I JUST SAY!!!!

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What do you call a woman who can't walk? A paraplegic.

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Whats Big, Brown, and smells like Horse Crap? Horse Crap

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mary poppins' handbag is full of fuckin dick

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops