A: Roses are red, Violets are blue. B: Then why are they called violets? A: I NEVER NOTICED THAT!

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Roses are red, violets are blue, my name is cartman, kyle you're a jew

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Too get to the other side. Duuu no one crosses the road to get killed.

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Its not a big mistake at all, if people do not want to get hypnotized you cant hypnotize them, or so I thought...

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knock knock... ...no answer

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A boy spelled the word "banana" wrong on a spelling test... Points were deducted.

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What's worse than failing a test Drowning

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Why can't the Asian do math? He has down-syndrome.

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Whats green and gets you really high? A green airplane

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Not a blind guy.

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Why did Jesus cross the road? He didn't. He's dead.

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What's brown and sticky? Syrup.

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Q:a black man walks down the street with alot of light whats happaning he A:is it the parade of light

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Karen was an average high-schooler. When she got home she often went online to chat with strangers. One day she started chatting with a nice girl named Jami. They really got along, Karen could tell Jami all of her secrets. One day, Karen decided to met her new friend at a local park without telling her parents. When she arrived she discovered the gruesome truth about Jami. Jami wasn't in high-school. She was a ten-foot tall, vicious, velociraptor.

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What did the fat man say when he saw the giant twinky on the billboard? I wish that twinky was real, because I am too poor to pay my bills, am getting audited, and cannot feed my four children on minimum wage.

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This guy went to the store because he needed potatoes. So he asked the clerk where the potatoes were at and she said "Isle fiveeeeeee!" So he went there and there were no potatoes ! hahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahhahahhahahhahahahahahahahahhahahahahahhahahahahahahahhahahahahahhahahajhahahahahhahahhahahhahahahahahahhaahhahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahhahahhahahahahhaahhahahahahahahahahahhahaahhahahahahahahaahhahahahahahhahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahhaahhahaahahahahahhhhahha

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Why did the airplane crash? A loaf of bread was the pilot.

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I have magical powers. Try your best to not to follow these instructions: Ready? Go. You are now blinking your eyes. (strike 1) You are now breathing voluntary. (strike 2) You suddenly have an itch somewhere on your body. (strike 3) You lost. Thanks for playing my little game. Hope you enjoy thinking of a flying pink elephant with wings.

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A priest, a rabbi and a shaman walk into a bar. Except there is no rabbi and there is no shaman and the bar is actually my 8th birthday party priest is molesting me. And the priest is my dad. My dad molested me. A lot...

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Why is the sky blue during day? Because it would be night if it was black.

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Words with two W's or N's in them are awkward and unnecessary

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Q: What do you call a pig with wings? A: Pigs don't have wings.

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What do you call a black man with a lip desiese? Jumbo shrimp

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How do you fit 1000 babies into a trashcan? You don't that would be wasteful! You Eat Them!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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