Q:When do you club a newborn baby? A:Whenever you want to because babies are stupid

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Why did Mexico enter the war? Because they were bombed.

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Joke below was made by Daniel Textor, he's a d i c k.

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What's black and really really smelly? Martin Luther King Jr.'s grave.

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Why was 6 afraid of 12? Because 12 used to beat up 6 and now 6 has a restraining order against 12. 12 has to stay at least 5 numbers away from 6.

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What had 82 eyes, 7 mouths, and sings the blues? Nothing, the described creature does not exist.

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get in the car.

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What's a fry cook's favorite day? Saturday. It's his day off.

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Q. How do you punish Helen Keller? A. Rearrange the furniture in her room

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Roses are blue, Violets are purple, I like chicken. Do you like chicken?

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Why didn't Santa deliver presents until the night after Christmas? You should go ask someone who knows.

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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So,a guy walks up to his friends at the bar and try's to to talk to them,the friends start being rasist ,so the first guy says 'wo guys stop going in that direction ,that one direction

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How do you get a black guy down from your tree? You can't, because there aint any.

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what did the monitor say to the boy? Im a Monitor

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What's hot and cold at the same time? Hotcold.

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why did the man fall down? because he was shot.

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Mila Kunis is fugly. Said no one ever.

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Why do skinny women eat their food fresh cooked? So that they don't contract food-borne diseases and risk dying.

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A White man, a Black man, and an Asian man go to Heaven. They were in a plane crash.

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Knock knock Who’s there? The police, your family was killed in a horrific car crash on highway 22 this morning at 10:15 after they collided head on with a truck. They died instantly if it is any conciliation. We will contact you further into our investigation. Dave then poured himself a whiskey and thought about all the good times he and his family shared, teaching Jessica to ride a bike, his and Kate’s honeymoon in Honolulu, playing catch with Jacob. That’s when the full extremity of the situation hit Dave causing him to break into tears he sat and cried for three hours and fifteen minutes. Once he had gotten that out of his system he decided to visit his mother and tell her the horrible news. Knock Knock Who’s there? Dave Dave who? Again Dave breaks into tears as his grandmothers althsiemers has progressed to the point where she can no longer remember her sons name. Feeling shattered he decides not to go through the process of explaining who he is and decides to head to the local pub to drown his sorrows. Bartender: hard day? Dave: my wife and two beautiful children were mauled in a head on collision with a truck and my mother can’t remember who I am. Bartender: yeah sure but was it a hard day? Dumbstruck with this ridiculous remark Dave pauses for a moment. The bar is silent only the sounds of bottles clinking and feet tapping on bar stools can be heard. Cigarette smoke hangs in the air. Dave stares at the bartender momentarily then throws his bottle at him send him off balance Dave then grabs the shot gun he knows the bartender keeps behind the counter and shoots the bartender at point blank range. Some customers run scared witless other try to control Dave but only end up in the same position as the bartender. Dave is left standing in a pool of blood. The smell of death hangs in the air with the cigarette smoke. Feeling slightly better Dave heads home and kills himself. Dave was an excellent plumber we will miss him.

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Why did the man with seasonal allergies not take his medication? He had liver disease...read the fine print

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What worse than being shot? Waking up and finding a penis in your mouth.

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2 corpses are sitting on a bridge one fell down both are dead

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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