Why is Lindsay Lohan out of prison? No, I'm asking.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

A dog was driving his car down the road right? Wrong dogs can't drive cars

thumb_up thumb_down -26

gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay

thumb_up thumb_down -26

What did the fat man say when he saw the giant twinky on the billboard? I wish that twinky was real, because I am too poor to pay my bills, am getting audited, and cannot feed my four children on minimum wage.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Knock Knock Whos There? I'p I'p who? HAHAHAHA

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

thumb_up thumb_down -26

How many pianos does it take to change a lightbulb? Two. One to change the lightbulb, and one to play a motivational tune.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Why did Logan lose his lunch? Because he forgot to his lunchbox on the day-trip.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

why was the mother sad? her sons school was bombed by terrorists. there we no survivors

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Stat1st1cs sh0w 0ne 1n f1ve pe0ple d0n't understand b1nary

thumb_up thumb_down -26

What do a rabbit and a plum have in common? They're both purple expect the rabbit

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Why is the black guy jobless? He's 3 years old.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

What did the cancer patient say before they died? I am in so much pain. I love you all

thumb_up thumb_down -26

A:Wanna hear a joke? B: Sure A: A joke

thumb_up thumb_down -26

To mama's so fat when she went to Dairy Queen she Ordered a blizzard.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

sfdg

thumb_up thumb_down -26

why did the irishman need plastic surgery? because after the bear attack where there used to be a face there is now a gap

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Whats worse than a pile of dead babies? A live on at the bottom.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

If I was, yet this syndicate was a legal one, necessary in order to maintain world peace trough the means of economical stability and such, would this be acceptable to you? Hypothetically of course.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Why was the young girl sad? A doctor told her that due to the fact that she was recently raped, she contracted AIDS.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Why did the stop sign run a red light? Because it couldn't see its face...

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Robin, get in the car!

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Why did the boy not get picked up from soccer? His mom was in a fatal car accident. His dad simply forgot.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops