Friend's are like penguins, they both die when you stab them in the heart.

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Asexuals aren't known for f***ing around.

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What do you call it when a black man kills an Asian man? Murder.

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What is the similarity between an elephant and a grape? Absolutely nothing. One is an animal, while the other is a fruit.

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why did the elephant cross the road? it was the chickens day off.

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Why did the dog have no legs? Because its previous owner had cut them off.

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Where do you guys find all these jokes? Your mom's Vagina

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Read This line it the tune of "If your happy and you know it" If you're reading this, Do your homework. Sincerely, Your Teacher

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Bob: This joke is so hilarious but you must start off by saying knock knock. Tom: okay... Knock knock Bob: who's there? Tom: ...... Bob: well? Tom: I don't know what to say??? Bob: so the joke left ya speechless!

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How many republicans does it take to raise the debt ceiling? Technically, none, as the president has the right to do this based on the 14th amendment.

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I've got a fever, and the only prescription is more ibuprofen...

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Get 100,000 Twitter Followers for $49.99 at Ladsta.com today!

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How do you wake up lady gaga? First you simply whisper in her ear telling her to wake up. If she doesn't, simultaneously whisper and tap her gently. If you have failed to achieve your accomplished goal, repeat step two however intensely touch her and project your voice when telling her to wake up. Step three, get a... WAIT WAIT!! I just waisted 20 seconds of your life, you're never going to meet her.

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue I just sharpened this hatchet Don't make me use it!

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In the North people say "once upon a time." What do people in the South say? "Y'all never gonna believe dis shit!"

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What did the mexican say to the other mexican? Lets go get some tacos.

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Why did the boy fall off the swing? -Because he didn't have any arms!

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Why did the Cookie Monster go to the Doctor? Because He had an inoperable tumor in his lower intestinal tract.

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why did the guy cross the road? Because he felt like it

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What's white, wet, and loved by women? A polar bear cub.

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what's worse than stubbing your toe on cement being a Jew during the holcaust

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Your mother just died.

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Run, Run, As fast as you can, You can't catch me, I'm in a car.

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I am quite mature.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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