A bar walked into a bar. Bars can't walk.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, You know most poems rhyme, This one doesn't

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Teacher: Why didn't you do your homework? Student: My friends told me not to. Teacher: So if your friends tell you to go jump off a bridge, would you do it? Student: Well, it all depends on if I land on a fat kid. Like Chubb. Chubb: Yeah, I know, my eating habit, i-i-its a big problem. -Payden R.

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Why did the pig cross the road? To chase after his adopted chicken.

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What do you do when you're given a phonebook? You ask for their name.

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What do you call a man who shoots someone? A very bad person.

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So this guy was making a sandwich...

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What did the text-to-speech reader say when the 12 year old boy played around with it? "Ass ass ass ass, ass ass ass ass."

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I completely thought you where bullshitting me, how come I never noticed before? How and why?

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What do you call a Koala bear that does not have a chin? A Koala bear.

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What do you say to a man who just gave you a million dollars. thank you

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While running away a burgular cut his hand on a piece of glass. He fell to the ground bleeding like crazy. What did the police say when he saw the burgular? You've been caught red handed.

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whatdumb and gay stewart price

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Why was the boy sad? Because he had a frog stapled to his face

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A dimetrodon, a pterosaur and a chicken walk into a bar. As they enter, the bartender says "Hold it! We are not licensed to serve dinosaurs." "I am not a dinosaur," said the dimetrodon. "Neither am I," said the pterosaur. "But I am," said the chicken. So the dimetrodon and the pterosaur enjoyed a cold beer each, but the chicken had to wait outside.

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Why wasn't the boy at school? Obviously it was the weekend.

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What do a rabbit and a plum have in common? They're both purple expect the rabbit

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Why is the spine-tailed swift is the fastest bird? Because its faster than the second fastest bird

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What do you call a fish with no eyes? Blind.

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knock knock. "who's there?" dick. "dick who?" dick ferns.

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A man walked into my repair shop asking why his TV didn't work. I told him it was broken.

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A little boy who was sleeping in his parent's bed woke up in the middle of the night only to discover his mother performing fellatio on his father. "Mommy, mommy," he said . . . except he didn't. He said nothing, and the incident troubled him deeply for many years.

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How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? They sent her to her room without dinner.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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