A horse walks into a bar, the bartender says "Why the long face?" The horse unable to comprehend english shits on the floor and leaves

thumb_up thumb_down +6

A kid goes to the doctor and says, "Doctor! it hurts when I do this!" The Doctor says, "Well, because you have been diagnosed with ALD, and to make matters worse you are allergic to rapeseed oil" The child then cries because he will never live past 40 years old

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why did it take Da Vinci so long to paint the Sistine Chapel? Because it was painted by Michelangelo.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a tree There isn't a tree in my garage

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Once upon a time there was a man exercising, he pulled a muscle and had to have his heart removed. In other words, don't exercise. The end.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

what does the monster eat after going to the dentist? the dentist

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What's brown and sounds like a bell? An old rusted bell.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What did the Dildo say to the banana? Nothing, unless you're high on acid.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

I dig, you dig, we dig, they dig, he digs, she digs, everybody digs. Guys, it's not a very profound poem, but it's deep.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

A priest, a Muslim and a Rabbi sit next to each other on a plane they say nothing to each other during the flight and reach their destinations safely.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What do anti-jokes and a can of corn have in common? Both can be stored indefinitely and accessed and enjoyed at will.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Two hunters are out in the woods, one of them collapses on the ground and his eyes roll back in his head. His friend whips out his cell phone and calls 911. He gasps,"I think my friend is dead, what do i do?" The operator says,"calm down lets first make sure he's dead." There's a silence, then a shot. Sadly the man was not dead but extremely tired and could not carry on without rest.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

chuck norris can round house kick reasonably well

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Roses are red Violets are red I'm bleeding quite profusely and should probably go to the hospital.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Q: what comes after 69? A: 70

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What Mistake Do Ghosts make? None ghosts dont exist..

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What did the blond say to the other blond? "I like your shoes."

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because Henry threw it well.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

I would tell you a joke about a blunt pencil but it's pointless

thumb_up thumb_down +6

how many shit jokes do you need to make before you realize that random does not equal funny? An egg.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf or bread. why did the plane fall apart in mid air? The engineer was a loaf of bread Why didn't the plane take off? because it was delayed.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

4501 3346 1687 2292 david0209. never do this.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why was Helen Keller a bad driver? She was blind.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

A black man walks out of a store. He was carrying a receipt.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops