good pick up line hey baby have u seen my heart cuz i think you stole it

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Q: What's worse than finding out you have genital herpes? A: Finding out your grandmother gave them to you

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Why Jimmy doesn't listen to his mother? Because he's deaf

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"Knock Knock" "Who's There" "It's Dallas" "Dallas Who" James and Dallas's relashonship quickly deteriorated as Dallas realized he and James been best friends for 2 years and James doesn't even know his name.

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what does a baby sound like in a microwave. i don't know i was masturbating

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i like your face... HAHAHAHAH just kidding you make me want to projectile vomit.

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what can jump higher than a tree? anything that can jump because everyone knows that trees cannot jump.

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Whats blue, flies with wings, weights over two tons, and has a rocket engine with six eyeballs? *hayball rolls* Moral: Im the one asking you...

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What do Michael Jordan and LeBron James have in common? They both have won NBA championships...except for Lebron.

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What do you call a lump on your penis? STD

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Knock Knock Who's there? John John who? John Williams.

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What time is it in China right now? I have no idea, it would depend on when you are reading this. Perhaps you should look at a world clock, watch, or some other sort of time-telling device rather than humorous website. Its purpose is not to tell time. However, there are many other places for this. Good luck surfing the web, friend. I have aided you the best that I can. I only hope that you will find what you are looking for.

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What did the boy with no arms and legs get for christmas? Nothing he died.

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bite me

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One time there was a guy who jumped off a bridge and died

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Why did the ANTI-JOKE book cry? -It wasn't funny

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Why don't Vikings read the New York Times? Because they all died centuries ago. And none of them live in New York.

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Why did Bill correct Matt when he called him Jim? Because that wasn't his name.

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How do you starve a black man? Take away his current food stocks, and means of income.

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Why is Michael J. Fox so go at dance? Because he took lesson as a child

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Roses are Red And sometimes yellow My mother is mellow I have terminal cancer. I also fisted my grandpa's anus last night

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whats the difference between ebola and a can of dead babies? i have ebola. this isnt funny at all.

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-How do you wake up Lady Gaga? -Poke her face

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Who moved faster? The snail or the blind man? The blind man until he ran into the road and got hit by a bus.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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