What's black and hangs from a tree? A tire swing.

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What do you call an earthquake on Mars? There is not enough water on planet Mars for something like that to happen.

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Q: What do you call a man with no arms and no legs going down a mountain? A: As good as dead.

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Barbara and Martin died in their apartment. The neighbor walked in and found glass and water everywhere. How did they die? -Barbara and Martin were fish.

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A man walks into a bar He is now in the emergency room suffering from deep lacerations to the forehead as well as a bloody nose.

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Yo mama so fat that when she jumped into a pool she displaced more water than someone who was of a normal weight

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What is the only non-racist animal? The mexican panda. Why? It's black, white, hispanic, and asian.

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What's big and white and wilbkill you if it falls from a tree? My dick.

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Whats funnier then a dead baby a dead baby dressed as a clown

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A mother had three kids: 1st kid- “Mom, why did you name me Daisy?” Mom- “Because when you were a baby a daisy fell on your head.” 2nd kid- “Mommy, why did you name me Rose?” Mom- “Because when you were a baby a rose fell on your head.” 3rd kid- “Blahblahblahflismdjsk” *makes retarded noises* Mom- “SHUT UP BRICK!”

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What's worse than a worm in your apple? The Holocaust No, the Holocaust never even happened, you're an idiot.

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Ha! You're so gay that I respect the sexuality you were born with and I feel completely comfortable with, and happy for, you and your preferences.

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what happens when you shoot a piece of soup It dies

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A guy walks into a bar carrying an octopus under his arm. The bartender asks him, "say, buddy, what's with the octopus?" and the man replies, "this is the most intelligent octopus in the world. In fact, I bet you $100 that it can play any instrument you give it." The bartender snickers at the other patrons, and puts $100 on the bar. He motions the man over to the piano by the wall. The man puts the octopus on the piano, but nothing happens. The octopus is dead, because it's been out of the water for a while. The bartender looks at the man sadly, as two psychiatric orderlies from the local mental hospital take the visitor away to the looney bin, after another patron called the police. The bartender never gets his $100, and now he has to clean up the godawful mess on his piano.?

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Q: What do you call a real joke on anti joke A: Someone obviously don't understand the concept of this website

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a worm in an apple within a worm inside your apple...

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A teacher at a school in America is writing on a chalk board. He asks the class what 50 - 20 is. The teacher begins to become impatient when noone put their hands up. This is because the school is an educational facility for asylumn seekers from Rwanda and all of their hands were cut off by a Warlord.

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Want to hear a dirty joke? Jimmy fell in mud. Want to hear a clean joke? Jimmy took a bath with Bubbles. Want to hear a dirty joke? Bubbles was a clown.

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What did the boob say to the bra? sup bra

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A deranged serial killer walks into a bar. No one leaves because he looks like a normal guy.

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Why can't Chuck Norris divide by zero? Because it is impossible, the answer is undefined.

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What do you get if you cross a sheep with a kangaroo? Don't be ridiculous. First of all, scientifically this is near impossible and secondly, what use would a kangaroo with wool be? Sheepdogs would become obsolete and they would be a nightmare to shear. Imbecile.

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How did the Nazis torture someone? They inserted a glass tube in the penis and flicked the end so that it shattered.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, your Mom is a fake, she adopted you!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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