What do you call a place where all hopes and dreams go to die as this place is contained of depression and the lingering smell of death? www.anti-joke.com

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how do u get a bonar? u look at your mum!!

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why the chicken cross the road? because he just committed 3rd degree murder and was try'in to commit suicide

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how do you kill a blonde with a pistol Put the clip in and shoot her

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A man is working at a bar. He feels a fly graze his left index finger, which has become a bit sweaty. The man rubs the finger for a moment, then continues to slice grapes for a customers synthetic japanese glue farm.

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Man 1- What's red, black, and white all over? Man 2- What? Man 1- Half a penguin! Man 2 became seriously disturbed from this joke, as he saw the movie Happy Feet two days ago. He went to intense therapy and became mentally deranged.

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Q: how do you drown a blond A: put a mirror at the bottom of a pool

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What did the pencil say to the other pencil? Nothing, pencils do not have the ability to speak as they are an object.

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What do you call a Jew in the oven? The oven repair man

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An alligator crawled into a bar Animal control is promptly called and he is released in a nearby lake

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A young man walks into a bar. A complicated chain of events leads to him marrying the owner's second cousin's half-niece-in-law.

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What happens when a guy walk into a school and shoots kids? Oh sorry, to soon?

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How do you make the queen of england cry? You rape her violently.

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Roses are red Violets are blue We decapitated some little children Now I'm in jail too.

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whats green and has wheels grass and i lied about the wheels

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What's black and white and red all over? A newspaper... used to clean up a crime scene.

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Why are all black people fast? They aren't its a stereotype.

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Why is Justin bieber gay? Because he is atracted to men

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Why did the woman leave the kitchen? She didn't, she's a woman.

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Have you ever just woken up one day and thought, "I don't wanna wear pants today."

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Q:How do you kill Chuck Norris ? A:You don't , He kills you first.

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Why was the boy in the hospital? He was visiting his grandmother, she had cancer and the doctor gave her 3 months to live.

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A man walked into a bar, he was meeting his friends but was half an hour early, so he went down the road and got a burger. He had recently began dieting to maintain a healthy weight, but had trouble with self control. 30 years later he would gamble away his family's life savings and then go onto live a long and unfulfilled life.

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A young man was lost wandering in a field, when he came upon a small house. He knocked on the door and was greeted by a scary southern man with a shotgun in hands. "I'm lost," said the man. "Can you put me up for the night?" "Certainly," the man said, "but on one condition. If you so much as lay a finger on my daughter, I will shoot you with this shotgun." He couldn't have sex with the daughter because he has severe erectile dysfunction.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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