What did the black guy say to the white guy running off the cliff? Watch out! You're running off a cliff!

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Under Chuck Norris' beard, there is a chin.

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Why did the man visit 4chan? He heard about it from a coworker and was curious about what it was.

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Why did Tommy fall off the swing? Because he had no arms. Knock knock Who's there? Not Tommy.

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How many light bulbs? 1

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Why did the man die? A fridge fell on him.

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19 cats 33 hamsters 24 turtles and 23 dogs are all in a small cage, PETA is not happy.

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Why is Stevie Wonder always so happy? Probably becuase he's a highly succesfull multi-million dollor recording artist with 26 grammys and 1 oscar

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So I was making this glass of milk right? So I get the milk out. And I get the soup out.. then I go...wait a minute...where'd the glass of soup come into this glass of situations? *smile+awkard pause because nobody will laugh at this=Success of this anti joke...try it*

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead! Why did the bird fall out of the tree? It was attatched to the monkey! Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? .....................peer pressure

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What did jimmy say when his brother had been mean to him all day and he was about to get a straw and his brother took the last one? That was the last straw!

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hi michael

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Why is Stevie Wonder called Stevie Wonder? Wonder where I am.

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs hanging on the wall? Wally.

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Why was the baby crying? He had just witnessed his parent gets brutally murdered.

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Hurr durr, I shit my pants.

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What do you call a blue horse with two legs and five eyes? A blue horse with two legs and five eyes.

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Two Jews are sitting in a large oven. They realize it is a dangerous place to be and get out of the oven.

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What's stupid a light bulb.

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A man is in a bar with a drink A lorry driver come in a gulp the guys drink down The man starts crying the lorry driver says"don't cry I will buy you another" The guy says "it's not that: Today I woke up late for work and when I finally got there my boss fired me so I get in my car to go home and it wont start so I walk home while it's raining and when I got in I found that my wife was sleeping with the gardener so I came down here and asked for some poison and you went and drank it"

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OMG THIS ACTUALLY WORKS! 1. Hold your breath for 2 mins 2. Die

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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What happened when Stephen Hawking tried to go down the stairs? He fell and suffered minor injuries.

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(Mortal Kombat Annihilation) Princess Kitana: "Mother, you're alive" Sindel: "Too bad you, will die" (Troll 2) "They're eating her. And then they're gonna me. Oh my gawwwwwwwwd." (The Room) Johnny: I did not hit her, it's not true! It's bullshitt! I did not hit her! [throws water bottle] Johnny: I did *not*. Oh hi, Mark. Mark: Oh, hey Johnny, what's up?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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