What did the cow say to the other cow? "Baaa", he had an identity crisis.

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How much cocaine did Charlie Sheen do? Enough to compromise his health and career

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What's funny and old? I really do'nt know

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how do you make holy water? you burn the hell out of it

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Q: What kind of file do you need to turn a 15mm hole into a 40mm hole? A: A pedophile.

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There once was a man from Nantucket, His dick was so long it caused tremendous physical discomfort, and it was extremely difficult for him to find pants that did not reveal his freakish abnormality, and greatly limited his levels of intimacy. After botched reduction surgery, he was left without a penis at all and, realising the horrible irony, threw himself into a raging river (experiencing no shrinkage whatsoever).

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Why did the asian lady buy the large shirt instead of the medium? Because the medium didn't fit

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When were in a zombie apocalypse I will make sure to save you for 40 days and then I will sacrifice you

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Really sorry Red, I did not mean to leave you hanging, and I hope you wont leave me hanging either, I just need my meds or thinks can get ugly, my health, I can tell you and even show you what my condition is, and heck show you my meds, but there are certain things even I wont spread on horsehead network, you know, people are so bitchy here on the internet, and if people knew what I got, yeaaah, I may start getting green thumbs, and I HAAAAAAATE those. Seriously, on a scale of zero (my ass) to ten, how insane do you see me as?

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What did the prisoner get for Christmas? A lethal injection.

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What did the orphan kids get for Christmas? Cancer.

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Why didn't Michael Jackson celebrate his birthday? He's dead.

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A Polish man walks into a bar and says, "Co za asy..."

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What do you call a skeleton in a closet? The hide-and-seek champion.

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: To get to the other side.

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an american walks out of a strip club.

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Knock Knock.

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Roses are Red Violets are blue I am an onlince predator Post your address in the comment EJ

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Knock knock. Who's there? No one, because your house burned down.

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Haikus are easy but some of them don't make sense but some of them do

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If a man shouts in a forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong? He could be. He could not be. The greater concern is that he's shouting alone in the forest. He's either in great danger or has a psychological disorder.

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What do you get if Justin Bieber and Miley Cyrus have a baby? The apocalypse

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Why was the boy holding his breath? A man was holding his head under water.

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hey hey hey wanna hear a joke.....................................MENS IQ!!!!!!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops