Why was the little boy crying? Because there was a hair in his burrito

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Your mom is so ugly that she had self-esteem problems and severe depression as a teenager due to merciless bullying due to her looks, however she overcame this, found a man who loved her for who she was, and then married him. She now lives a happy life.

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Why did the pot-head have red eyes? He got soap in them.

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Two construction workers are working on the final floor of what will soon be the worlds tallest building. The first turns to the other and says: "Hey tom can you throw me a three quarters hex wrench? i think my set is metric." the second guy turns around and says: "yea, here you go."

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How do you confuse a blonde? Hit her over the head with a baseball bat until she has concussion

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How did the boy break his hand? He slammed it in a car door.

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What do you call a boy with one eye and no arms. -Mean names.

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Eric went for a poo in the public toilets. After he finished, he realised that there was no toilet roll. So he had to just pull up his pants and put up with his sshitty arse for the rest of the day. Unfortunately, he was in a board meeting and when he went in he stank of shit and it was a very uncomfortable feeling.

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Two muffins are in an oven. They procede to bake at 325 degrees for thirty minutes.

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How many Soviet Russians does it take to screw in a light bulb? None, in Soviet Russia, light bulbs are an unavailable commodity because the tyrannical government has called for a ban on unnatural illumination. A fact which is not lost on Mikhail, the light bulb maker whose wife died because his lack of business caused him to miss payments on his hospital bills.

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Why is OK SUK WHANG's name on a gravestone? She thought she was way better than okay.

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What did the kid with no arms or legs get for Christmas? Arms and legs, NOT GET IN MY MINIVAN!

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Adam Chebali has no life

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If I tell you that seeing you happy, is my main motivation towards accepting right now, would you believe me?

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What's racecar spelled backwards? Jesus.

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What starts with P and ends with O-R-N? Popcorn

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What do you call a red ballon? It depends on its color duh!

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What happens when you turn the TV on? You watch it.

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A guy walks into a bar and laughs. Later, a green, homosexual dinosaur dentist escorts him out to play a houdini banjo.

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There's two muffins in an oven, the first muffin says "Woah, it's really hot in here!". The second muffin says "Oh my God! A talking muffin!"

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To reach his desired destination.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue I suck at poetry, Show me your tits

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roses are red violets are blue i bribed a hobo to eat my poopoo

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What did the pig do when the farmer died? He just stood there cause pigs are stupid.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops