Why wasn't the black woman allowed on the bus? It was rush hour and the bus was full.

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A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

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So there is a white guy and a jewish guy walking, they find a penny on the ground who takes it? The white guy because he is in debt.

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Q: Why did Timmy cry? A: You would too if you had your arm cut off

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Knock Knock Who's there? Your neighbor. My neighbor who? I told you already, it's pronounced "Wu" I'm very sorry Mr. Wu.

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A man on a plane convened his stupid flyer that instead of who in knock-knock jokes it what were, he thought it would funny. Later it really paid off, as they fly very close over water he says "knock knock" "whose there" " Captain Neverlands" "Captain Neverlands wh-...were" "Captain Neverlands IN WATER YOU DUMMY!!!!"

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What did the kid with no arms or legs get for Christmas? Cancer

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A mathematician, a physicist, and an engineer walk into a bar. They order some drinks, sit quietly and stare at their shoes until they've finished their drinks, then go back home and wallow in loneliness, wishing their social skills weren't so abysmal.

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Yo mamas so fat she's over weight

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whats the difference between a dead dog and a dead black guy there were skid marks in front of the dead dog

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whats brown and smells like poop? poop.

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Your dad got tired while running, so he stopped running.

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Why did the boy get coal in his stalking. Cause he wants to be a geologist and that's what he asked for.

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roses are red violets are hot dog this rhyme has no sense fork

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What's the difference between a baby and an onion? I cry when I chop up an onion.

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why did the Mexican eat a octopus because he was hungry would die if he didn't

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Q: What do you call a fish with no eye? A: Fssshh

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What do you call a dog with no legs? Doesn't matter what you call it, they aren't going to come.

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She likes her sex like she likes her penises. Without a woman.

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Why did the kid get hit by the bus? He was in the road.

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What’s funnier than cancer? Most things, really.

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Whats brown and sticky? A Stick.

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Q: Why was the old man sad? A: Because he has a quarter super glued to the bottom of his foot

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Where is the bathroom, I need to go poo.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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