Chuck Norris' beard takes 1st 2nd and 3rd in the most impressive beard catagory. He was the only contestant.

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear, The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

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Jackie Chan walks into a bar.

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Apirl showers bring... Tornadoes that kill families

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If I could slow down time I would have become a super criminal or something, no, my movements become slower also, ever heard of a game Max Payne? The character can slow down his perception of time and still aim his gun normally while he himself moving at the same speed as the rest. I well... when time seems to go slower, my thoughts do not, so yeaaah, Except my fast reactions also make me wear myself out faster to the point where I got injured a lot as a kid, like smacking my wrist against arcade games and stuff, broke my wrist, as a teen, still hurts when it rains, yeah weird but true.

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Their was three black men that walked into a bar. They then ordered three drinks and had sex... I lied about walking into a bar

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What do you call a 5000 pound gorilla? Obese - gorillas should weigh around 400 pounds.

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What did the horse say to the man? The man woke up from his dream so he didn't know either

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Whats wrong with me? Your alive.

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roses are red vilots are blue in soviot russa poem read you.

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How do you keep black people out of your backyard. A no trespassing sign.

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What starts with f and ends in u-c-k? a:****

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Why did the bunny cross the road? Because it waited until a car was driving by and then got run over.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To go hang himself.

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What happens when three drunk men are driving 80 miles off of a cliff. They all die on impact from the great fall and their family's mourn over their deaths for years to come.

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A man walks into a bar........ gets eaten by a lion.

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How do you confuse a blonde? Try and teach her the finer points of Quantum Physics without allowing her to take any notes, and then test her on it.

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Why did the little girl have grass stains on her white dress? Because she was dragged into the forest and raped.

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There is a boy in a school............. SUDDENTLY, PEDOBEAR APPEARS!

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Why did Susie fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Susie.

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why did the man sell the car and bought worse one? it' s his hoby to restore cars

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How is a raven like a writing desk? Both have absolutely nothing to do with the other one.

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What has two legs and is red all over? Half a dog.

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I have two coins in my hand that add up to 30 cents, and one of them is not a nickel. I accidentally dropped them.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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