An asian woman was driving along the freeway one day when a police officer pulled her over and arrested her, The officer arrested her because she had killed her husband 5 years ago and she thought she had gotten away with it.

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If there's somethin' strange in your neighborhood Who ya gonna call 911

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Why did the booger throw a fit? Because it was getting picked on.

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Why was the black guy being talked to by several policemen? Because he was advertising a new renting deal on an apartment downtown and the two policemen were openly gay and have a right to live together.

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How do you minimize the likelihood of theft? Take the derivative.

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what did the cripple, the cancer guy, the blonde, and the blackguy have in common they all have no reason to live

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Why was the uneducated black guy raped? To make this joke more risky and therefore funnier.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to KFC for his job interview

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Why did the chicken cross the street? Because the light was red and cars had stopped.

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Whats the difference between the Taliban and a Football Team? I'm not on the football team.

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Guy: guess what girl: what Guy: nevermind girl: no what Guy: i love you girl:.. i love myself too..

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homosexuals are gay

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Why did the elephant cross the road? It escaped the zoo.

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A horse walks into a barn.. The farmer says "why the long face?",This frightens the horse ultimately leads to the farmer getting kicked in the teeth

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Where do the biggest potatoes grow? the ground.

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thomas the train walked up to an old man and said nothing. mostly because trains cant walk, and they cant talk.

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Why did the man pee his pants? Because he was paralyzed from the waist down and had no way of feeling

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what did the boy say when his friend was having a panic attack? "don't panic!" rather earnestly in the hope that his friend's breathing returned to normal as panic attacks can be very uncomfortable and place too great a strain upon the cardio and respiratory functions.

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Q. How do you wake up a sleeping rich man? A. By splashing acid in his face

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Why are objects in your mirror closer than they appear? Because they are closer than they appear.

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Dance is a sport

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What's purple, red, green and does jumping jacks. Nothing... that sounds pretty crazy if you ask me.

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you walk into a bar Griffin: 'are you ok'

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There was once a man named Larry. Larry was an office worker for a paper company. One day when Larry was counting papers he got a papercut on his left hand. Therefore his finger began to bleed as he sat in agony. What did Larry do next? He got up and got a band-aid. Larry continued his paper work at his desk.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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