What do you call a kid with no arms and an eye-patch? Names.

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Knock knock Who's there Joe Aids who's?

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How do you make an idiot in suspense?

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I can still remember the last words my brother said before he kicked the bucket. "Hey you guys,how far do you think I can kick this bucket?"

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Your mumma's so ugly. Period.

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what's purple and plastic purple plastic

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My mates dad hasnt had a job in 20 years... its probably why there all homless outside my house.

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I really want to know something would all of you like to go on Suspension for 3 weeks? Mr Goodwin

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What did Osama Bin Laden say to his barber? ????? ??? ?????? ??? ?????, which, in their native language means, I would like to get a haircut.

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How long did it take Jeff, a middle-aged man with a lifelong speech-destroying lisp, to overcome his impediment? Less than ten minutes, as carbon monoxide is a colorless, odorless toxic gas that eliminates oxygen at a rapidly-acting rate inside of small areas such as the car Jeff locked himself inside.

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Why did the cow cross the road? Because he escaped the farm and didn't know what else to do.

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Your momma is so old, it is likely that she will pass away in the near future, and I would recommend you to spend some quality time with her.

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What do you call a big group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

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What is one similarity between John Samos, and the dreadful clown? they have a red nose and are payed to be funny, aside from John Samos!

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Why can cats jump so high? Cats leg muscles are different then ours. They work kind of like springs that build up energy and then release suddenly. Its kind of like a budgie cord. This gives them the ability to jump so high. If humans were built the same way, they could easily jump up on a one-story roof.

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Why does my friend pick up trash? Because he is a garbageman

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What do you call a man who beats his adopted, black children? A terrible person.

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why did the girl fall off the slide? she was pushed, by her dad...

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Hitler has a certain "genocide-quaw" about him

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Me:hey paul did you see that story on the news? Paul:ya i did thats really crazy!

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Q:What did the kid with no arms or legs get for christmas? A: A bike

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Penis

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the person who wrote 1 under me is gay

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Why couldn't Jimmy eat his food? Because I threw a microwave at him

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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