what long green and bumpy? a pickle

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Mum, "Why aren't you listening to me, are you deaf or something?" Son, (Silence)...

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A cat walks into a bar, the bartender says "pussy?"

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Will I be watching The Voice tonight? no.

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Laugh.

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I swear to god it wasnt me Dont swear to go its a sin !

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roses are red, violets are blue. hey.

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Why couldn't the 11-year old get into the pirate movie? It was rated PG-13.

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A man goes to the store to buy a kitten. While there, he decides to buy two because he is feeling particularly hungry.

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Whats red, and spins at fast speeds? A baby in a blender

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Your mama so fat That she suffers from heart disease

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What is worse-losing your phone or failing school? Apartheid

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What do you call a black doctor? Ehh...

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What's the hardest part about being a pedophile? Fitting in.

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whats the difference between a ferrari in my garage, and a pile of dead babies in my garage. I do not have a ferrari but i do have a pile of dead babies

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What is the reward for the pimp who banged a bitch? HIV

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If the Earth is square, why are trees smart? because you touch yourself at night

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If you throw a red stone in a blue lake what does it become? Simply a wet stone.

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Two muffins are in the oven. They don't say anything because muffins can't talk. The end.

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Why do cow say moo? Because you touch yourself at night

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Whats green and fluffy? Your mom.

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cerleb i wrote the one about melons!

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A white horse walks into a bar and orders a bitter. The bartender says "Hey, do you know we've got a drink named after you?" The horse says; "Eeek! A talking cow."

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Why'd the Squirrel fall out of the tree? Cause it was dead

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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