Chuck Norris counted to infinity; by calculating the sum of a divergent series.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Why wasn't my friend laughing at my jokes? Because his grandpa is dying.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Coach walks into a bar and asks for a drink. The bartender says, i can't serve you. You aren't wearing pants. Coach says "put it on my bill."

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Why can't black people swim? Many of them can. It's racist to assume that.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

A car with four Mexicans drives off of a cliff. What's the bad news? They were my friends.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

-Knock knock -Use the doorbell -Oh... ding dong -Who is it? -Me -Oh -Yeah -Cool -Come in -Okay -Take off your shoes -Alright -How are you? -Good -That's good -Yeah -Okay -K -Oh -Bye -See ya

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Two men walk into a bar, one ducks

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What did little Timmy find at the bottom of the well? The fact that he could no longer breathe and thus causing him to drown.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What do you call a person with one eye and no arms? Names.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

How about that airplane food? Ive never been on a plane you tell me

thumb_up thumb_down +22

You know what sucks? A vacuum.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What has a bomb straped to itself and has wheels? Me. I lied about the wheels.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Why did the black man grab and tie up the white woman? Because the white woman was a serial killer who has been on the FBI's most wanted list for killing children.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

A British man walks into a bar. He has to get stitches.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Q: Whats the difference between me and a ghost? A: Ghosts arnt dolphins!

thumb_up thumb_down +22

A man is on an operating table. His heart stops beating and he suddenly finds himself at the Gates of Heaven. St. Peter approaches him. "Welcome, my son," St. Peter says. "I can't believe it," the man exclaims, "I've died and gone to Heaven! I-" St. Peter interrupts him. "Not quite yet, my son. You must first answer three questions. You will only enter Heaven if I deem you fit to do so." The man nervously agrees. "All right. First question," St. Peter says. "Did you ever commit a sin and never sought forgiveness?" The man thinks long and hard. "No, I always made sure to apologize." "Splendid," St. Peter responds. "Did you attend church every Sunday?" The man loses some of his former confidence. "I may have missed the odd week." "That's fine," says St. Peter. "One last question... Do you believe you are worthy of entering the Gates of Heaven?" The man answers nervously, "Well... yes, yes I do." St. Peter smiles. "Congratulations, my son. You have passed the test, and may enter Heaven!" The man is ecstatic as the pearly gates open up for him. He enters Heaven and is astounded by its magnificent beauty. The man then loses all brain function and dies on the operating table.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What did the black kid get for Christmas? Your bike.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Why did Helen Keller's dog run away? You would too if your name was Gnrwhaf

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Three Blondes were walking when they come upon some tracks. The first blonde says they're deer tracks. The second blonde says they're elk tracks. The last blonde says they're moose tracks. While they are all arguing about what type of tracks they are, they get hit by a train.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

roses are red violets are blue i have five fingers the middle ones for you

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Q: What happened to the fat man on the roller coaster A: The roller coaster went slightly faster due to the laws of gravity

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Roses are red Violets are actually the color violet, contrary to popular belief.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Why did the young boy drop his bus. He was hit by an ice cream.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What's Green and flies? Super Grapes cousin Super Grape

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops