Why couldn't the T-Rex clap his hands? He was dead.

Why did old Dorris shit herself? Because Margaret fell over.

Why can't the orphan play baseball? He can't find home.

What do you get when you cross scabies with genital warts? Krusty Krabs.

A blond and his wife were in the hospital expecting their first child together. The wife gives birth to twins and the husband turns to her and says, "I can't believe we had twins. I'm so happy!"

why was Lucy fat? Her BMI was over the recommended average.

What do you call a person who is deaf. It doesn't matter, they wont be able to hear it when you call them.

Why was the orphan's christmas sad? He got a violent chest infection and died.

What's harder to pick up, a football or an anvil? It doesn't matter when you lost your fingers in 'nam.

Why did Johnny fall off of the swing? The swing was defective. Knock, knock. Who's there? Johnny's lawyer.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Why do you care?

I may be ugly, but I'm also dumb.

What is less funny than a clown? Another clown ... but with fewer limbs.

What's green fury has 4 legs, and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you. A pool-table

roses are red violents are blue your dad is gay soon it all be you !

What did the frat guy drink after he lifted? A various assortment of beverages that were chilled at a cool 66 degrees.

Why did the little kids call the boy "pornboy" Because he showed gay porn at the bus stop

Q.-What's the difference between broccoli and a dead moose? A.-Yes.

Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because she has no arms

What's red and smells like cherries. Cherries

Why can't Sally use the swings? Because she has no arms. Knock, knock. Who's there?? ... Not Sally.

How did a monkey fall out of a tree? He slipped on a banana.

what did mohammed say to Jesus? nothing they lived in completly different time periods

A man died in a sky-diving accident. What was the last thing that went through his mind before he died? His feet

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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