What do you get when you cross scabies with genital warts? Krusty Krabs.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

A blond and his wife were in the hospital expecting their first child together. The wife gives birth to twins and the husband turns to her and says, "I can't believe we had twins. I'm so happy!"

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why are rich guys gay? Because they can afford to be

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead! Why did the bird fall out of the tree? It was attatched to the monkey! Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? .....................peer pressure

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Woman: do u want to watch Snakes on a Plane? Man: sure, what is it about? Woman: It's about a horse on a boat

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why did the African cross the road? Because he was searching for his family after his village was massacred by rebel soldiers.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What poops,smells bad,burps,wears diapers,farts,and screams spank me with a bib on That Depends what you do on saturday nights

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Get Outta Here We're Closed!

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Roses are black Violets are black Everything is black. I am blind.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What's hard, long and screws a blond? An IQ test.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What do you call a black woman working at a bar? A Bartender. What do you call an asian woman working at a bar? A Bartender.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Where did the RICH black man go to? His home

thumb_up thumb_down +15

How do you kill half the Mexican population? through a penny of a cliff. How do you kill the other half? Tell them its still down there.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why did the booger throw a fit? Because it was getting picked on.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

WANNA HERE A JOKE? (no, i purposely clicked in this joke website to simply here to fulfill my demonic internet pleasures.)

thumb_up thumb_down +15

A baby seal walks into a club. I happens to be that the club is having their bi-annual PETA meeting, and the baby seal is chosen as the organization's new mascot. After touring the nation and meeting important world leaders, the baby seal still wonders why there was a club at the North Pole.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

An astronaut, a nun and a fireman walk into a bar. They all order something to drink as they have all had a busy day.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

God wrote this joke.................................

thumb_up thumb_down +15

"Knock knock!" "Who's there?" "A door to door salesman. Are you unsatisfied with the way your dish soap handles your plates? Then I have the product for you!" "I'm not interested in your product, but thank you anyway." "No problem. On an off note, how did you hear me? I didn't speak very loudly when I said knock knock, and I didn't even bother to knock on the door or ring the doorbell." "I have really good hearing." "Oh, okay. And for future reference, maybe you should open the door when talking to a visitor. Then body language gets established and the conversation flows more nicely that way." "That's some good advice, and I'll take it. Thanks, salesman." "You're welcome. On to the next house."

thumb_up thumb_down +15

why did the little girl fall off the swing she had no arms

thumb_up thumb_down +15

How does a person put an elephant in a closet? First they have to open the door, then put the elephant in and close the door. That was easy well how does a person put a giraffe in. You probably said open the door and put the giraffe in and close the door. Well you missed a step first you have to take the elephant out then you can put in the giraffe. Well both animals are to big to fit in a closet so you can't put them in and also the person who put the animals in is schizophrenic and the animals are fake so if you believed that you could fit them in there you might be delusional.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why did Billy drop his ice cream? The Holocaust.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What's the difference between camping and molestation? I wasn't taken camping as a child

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops