Whats red but smells like blue paint? Red paint

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An Asian woman is driving home from work and arrives in 30 minutes, which is strange because it normally does not take that long but she left during rush hour and the traffic was very bad at the time.

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When did Rick Santorum realize he was gay? When we woke up with a bloody condom in his ass.

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Badabing.

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Erron who the hell are you? How many people are you going to use before you finish whatever the fuck is on your agenda?

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Knock knock. Who's there? The Door! He then broke down into tears as the nightmares from his schizophrenia had lead to a severely crippled mental state.

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yo mamma's so retarded that shes a potato

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Your mother is so poor she doesn't have any money!

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Suicide is never funny Unless it's a clown

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Ya. Ya Who? Dot Com.

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What does a kid with no arms and legs get for christman.... Cancer...

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How did the teenage mother get her baby to stop crying? Multiple stab wounds to its throat

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Why can't you hear a pterodactyl going to the bathroom? Because dinosaurs died out 65.5 million years ago.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get the bag.

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What's worse than hitting your thumb with a hammer? Getting your spine ripped off

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Tim is a bald headed prick with an annoying voice and he looks like a clean shaven Walter White if he was on the same drugs that he was making and he looks like he smokes too much because the wrinkles on his forehead look like lips.

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rock crushes scissors, scissors are useless. scissors cut paper, little stips of paper are usless. paper covers rock, structure of rock remains intact.

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What's better than Sookie? The holocaust

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Sigh... I gotta go to night class studies okay?

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Oh NOES! She does worry about me! YOU MUST APOLOGIZE! Relax, the body has two sources of happy drugs, one is the sweet calm stuff I am really bad at, and the other comes with adrenaline and stuff, the name of which I do not remember, both are important, but yeah, I am a thrill seeker, and when I do not find them, I make a thrill out of whatever I got, whatever that means.

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What did the boy do with his ice cream? He ate it.

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Why did to plane crash because the pilot was a tomato

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Half empty = half full Therefore Half (empty) = half (full) empty= full Half empty

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Q: What did the little jewish boy get for his birthday in 1940? A: The holocaust.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops