A man with Tourette's syndrome walks into a bar. Because of his disease, he shouts unexpected profanities across the room, and everybody in the bar bursts into laughter. The man cannot handle the humiliation anymore and goes home. He opens a drawer in his bedroom, pulls out a gun, and points it at his head. His wife walks in on him about to commit suicide. She is horrified. He then looks at her and then down, and he notices his one and only daughter by the age of 7 is by her side. The man ponders his reckless decision he was about to make. Moments later he and his family are holding one another sobbing in each others arms. A few days later the man goes back to the bar and shoots everybody there. Shocked and afraid, he curled up into a ball and regretted his decision. An hour later the police arrived and he was sentenced to life in prison for 3rd degree murder. His wife moved on and started a new family with his former best friend, and his daughter vists him every first tuesday of every other month. The man still suffers from Tourette's and cannot control his ticks and rots in jail. He continues to scream random obscenities for the rest of his life with no parole.

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Dig a big hole in your front yard and wait next to it so when people walk by they'll ask "Why is there a hole in your front yard?" to whcih you will reply "I don't know. Do you wanna play Monopoly?"

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Did you hear about the guy that told bad jokes? No.

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What's Funny About A Black Man Being Shot? Nothing, That Man Was My Friend.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Your mother. Please open the door. Your mother who? You were adopted.

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Q: Why was six afraid of seven? A: seven raped six's mom

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Nothing, he found his tractor and went back to work.

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knock knock whose there? banana? banana who? im sorry but you have to go to the doctor now.......

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Three midgets walk into a bar. The first one orders a beer, the second one orders whiskey, and the third one ordered water because all three of them had agreed that he would be the designated driver that night.

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Once upon a time, there were a lot of Jews......

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What do you call an unconscious black man? An ambulance.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To try and get hit by a car.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm Scizophrenic And so am I.

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Justin Beiber walks into a bar. The bartender does not serve him because he is not the legal drinking age yet.

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Knock Knock. What's up? Oh, nothing much, you? Yeah, you know, same old, same old. Cool.

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Why did Jim not go to the park and play football with his Dad today? His dad got hit by a bus and lost his legs

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Q: How do you keep a blond occupied for an hour? A: You write "flip over" on both sides of a blank piece of paper.

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Why did the little kids call the boy "pornboy" Because he showed gay porn at the bus stop

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A man died in a sky-diving accident. What was the last thing that went through his mind before he died? His feet

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What's red and smells like cherries. Cherries

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because she has no arms

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How did a monkey fall out of a tree? He slipped on a banana.

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what did mohammed say to Jesus? nothing they lived in completly different time periods

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Why can't Sally use the swings? Because she has no arms. Knock, knock. Who's there?? ... Not Sally.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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