Stephen Hawking walks into a bar.

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What device will find furniture in a poorly lit room every time? An infrared camera.

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Q: What happened when Cupid shot his arrow into the guys heart? A: He died

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Q. What do you do when you cross an elephant, and a soccer ball. A. That would never happen.

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What do you call black people in a church, Holy shit

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I used to be an adventurer like you, but then I was raped by a giant scorpion...

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Why couldn't Suzie put on her boots? Because she got her legs amputated.

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Dad: Blind side was the black kid who played tight end. Me: Offensive line. Dad: Sorry, African American kid.

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why did the clown cross the road? to kill everyone in the dark knight midnight premiere

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You are so ugly that for Halloween you had to trick or treat by phone.

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whats the difference between this joke and other jokes other jokes have a punch line

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Three bitches walk into a bar, and die

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A Gamer walks into the tavern, the bartender says to him, "just dont act like you control the place!"

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how does chuck norris eat an apple Just like every other person

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knock knock who's there? john john who? john opens his mouth only to be gunned down by a terrorist attack

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Why did the kid need glasses? A monkey threw a fridge at him.

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How long does it take a person to steal a television? Many variables could determine said ability to successfully steal a television. Such variables depend on sub-variables such as weight of the television, whether the television is a store, an upper-class citizen's home, or in a "ghetto" apartment. A main variable could be the race of the thief in question. African Americans are scientifically more likely to steal a television faster compared to a Caucasian. Yet a downside to being an African American is the fact that they are more likely to be called in for questioning or arrested on the spot at their broken down home. Caucasians are less likely to be questioned and if caught will most likely obtain the proper amount of bribery money in which to pay off the police.

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Hey, you are competitive, but let me have the last word here and you will like it. If you keep poking your nose constantly, the effect will actually overlap, making it stronger and stronger, by all means though, make sure you keep some nose working alright?

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man 1 walks by man 2 man 1 says hey buddy whats up man 2 responds do i know you man 1 says no but i saw you seeing a movie on friday man 2 says oh cool but wasnt that movie great man 1 responds ya and man 1 and man 2 become best friends plus man 1 only liked man 2 because he was rich!!!

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a blind man walks into a wall

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A cow walks down the stairs. Not really. They are incapable of walking down stairs. It actually died on the roof.

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"knock Knock" "Who's there?" "The SS, we heard you are smuggling jews in your attic, so you are coming with us."

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Why does the girl get humped by a pig? Because she has sexual needs and no other more attractive animal, including an human wants to hump her.

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Why was the fat guy so sad? Because he knew he would die sooner or later, just like every other human being

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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