A kid walks in to a bar. The bartender asks the boy where his parents are and he replies that he does not know. They call the police who proceed to try to contact the boy's parents. They have gone missing so the boy must go up for adoption. He gets adopted by an abusive family and runs away. Without a family, job, or money, he could not afford a house. He lived alone in a box until he died of starvation.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

A duck walks up to a lemonade stand and says to the man nothing. Because It's a duck.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Math: "If I have 5 bottles in one hand and 4 in the other, what do I have?" Answer: "An unreasonable amount of bottles to hold in two hands."

thumb_up thumb_down -3

A man visits an anti joke site looking for some humor. realizing that its not funny, he closes the window.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What did the penguin say to the tiger? I'm in the wrong country.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What do you get when you cross a turtle and a platypus? Well, I don't think it's genetically possible by nature, but Turtpus is a pretty funny name.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Boy: "But I don't wanna visit Grandma!" Mother: "Shut up and keep digging."

thumb_up thumb_down -3

"....did he fire six shots or only five....." It doesn't really matter, considering he will die of blood loss soon

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why is the bowler right handed? He has no left hand.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

what's the difference between a zebra and a horse They are spelled differently

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What did the black police officer say to the white police officer? We just got a call in. Four dead children were found in an alley behind a mall.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why doesn't Michael Jackson sleep with boys anymore? -Because he is dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

News:Little boy found dead in old man's white van. Turns out the old man goes to the store and when he comes back the little boy chokes on an apple.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What do you call an Arabic man who crashed a plane into a business building? A careless pilot whose recklessness caused him to crash into a building. His stupidity and lack of plane control skill led to a horrible accident that involved the death of thousands of innocent people and the death of many business people's office pets.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

A man buys some expensive lingerie for his wife on the occasion of their 10th wedding anniversary. After a lovely candlelight dinner at home, he tells her to close her eyes at which point he retrieves the gift box containing her anniversary present. Thoroughly exited, she rips open the box and takes out the beautiful garment, holding it up to the light in wide-eyed amazement. Her husband gives her a suggestive wink and says "would you like to join me in the bedroom to try it on?" To which she replies, "I AIN'T YER WHORE!"

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Q: Why didn't i save my work? A: Because i didn't do any work?

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why did the baby fall off the swing? It had no arms or legs. Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because I kicked her in the face.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What is the most hardest math known to man kind? 1+1=?

thumb_up thumb_down -3

A man walks into a bar and shuffles his way through the intoxicated patrons. He finds the only open stool and quickly sits in it before any other see it. The bartender approaches him and ask: "What will it be?" The man replies: "Can I have a beer?"

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What did the asian do with his homework? finish it. as is expected from children his age.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

what is the diference between my left tit and my right tit .... my right one was cut off because of breast cancer

thumb_up thumb_down -3

why did the owner of Google decide to name the company "Google"? google it..

thumb_up thumb_down -3

why did the other chicken cross the road peer pressure

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Roses are red Violets are blue I have a gun Watch me shoot you

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops