Did you hear about the monkey in the tree? Oh no wait. It was a lizard.

What did the penguin say to the peacock? Die, you homosexual!

How do you make a nerd cry? Give him a 99% on a test.

So a dog walks into a bar.. well thats not true as most bars do not allow dogs.. oh..sorry.

What do you call a green blur in the sky? Super pickle?

I was relaxing on the beach today when a fat bird came over and said, "Would you rub this lotion into my back please?" "I'm afraid I'm only here for the day," I replied.

knock knock... ....... no one replies.. the family is deff..

What did the Insomniac, Dyslexic Priest do? He stayed up all night wondering if there really is a Dog.

What's the hardest thing about eating a quadriplegic? The wheelchair.

I asked her where you were.

A bar walks into a man. The drink orders a bartender. And then the money walks home. End The.

Have you ever tried Ethiopian food? No. Neither have they.

AWWWWWW YEEESSSS!!!

A dog is always in the pushup position.

Why does Joel's breathe smell?

Why was a mother crying at a hospital? Because a bird threw a stick at her five minutes ago.

whats short blonde and speaks spanish? my spanish teacher Mrs. Inman

How many dead babies can you fit in the trunk of a car? Any number if compressed sufficiently. At neutron star density all babies in the world would fit.

why did andy wake up this morning. because he wasnt tired anymore

Roses are red. Violets are blue. I suck at poetry. Nice tits.

Roses are red, violets are blue, if you had a pulmonary embolism, you would be too

Man 1- What's red, black, and white all over? Man 2- What? Man 1- Half a penguin! Man 2 became seriously disturbed from this joke, as he saw the movie Happy Feet two days ago. He went to intense therapy and became mentally deranged.

Whats funnier than 24. ... DEEZ NUTS.

Why do black guys have ashy elbows? Because of 9/11

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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