When did the War of 1812 begin? 1963.

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roses are red violets are blue daffodils are yellow pansies are pink

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How do you make a dog hate you for the rest of its life? Steal its bone and beheaded it.

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whats big red and eats bricks a big red brick eater

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What's in a glass and drinky? A drink

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What did the black man say to the jew at a party Well hello i don't believe we met.

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What grows on trees and is woody? Wood.

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Why would a baby cry? Because it's being put through a juicer.

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What did the jew say to the black man? I'm jewish

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Why is Suzie at the bottom of the cliff? Because I pushed her. Knock knock Who's there? Not Suzie.

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If you want to make the little things count, teach midgets maths!

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Why do turtles walk slow? They are physically incapable of walking fast.

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What did the Jew say when he walked into a bar? Ouch!

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When life gives you gators, make Gatorade.

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Yo Momma is SO FAT, THAT she has an increased risk of cardiac arrest due to her blood pressure.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread

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Why did the man read the terms of service? He had ignored them before, and was forced into a scam where a shady organization took all of his money and possessions. With no other way to provide for his family, the man began selling drugs, which led to several arrests. He has been n prison for 3 years now... His wife has left him for one of the man's close friends

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what did the guy do at the funeral? cry because his wife died

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If your fighting an octopus on mars how many lamps does it take to repair a dog house? Nine because a toaster cannot ride a bicycle.

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A strange man knocks at the door He's your son

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Inspirational story: There once was an ugly old man who was so ugly everyone died. The end -Matt

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What did the flag say to the pole? It dosnt

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oh hey.

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I had a terrible childhood. My mom abandoned me before I was born.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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