What's brown and sticky? A stick.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Justin. Hello Justin, please come in.

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What's the difference between Neil Armstrong and Michael Jackson? Neil Armstrong walked on the moon and Michael Jackson appeared in court several times under charges of child molestation

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What is a holocaust victim's favorite food? Nothing.

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What did the penguin wearing a blue sweater say to the sink? I am a penguin wearing a blue sweater.

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why did the baby start crying? because he was very hungry and hadn't been feed all day

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What do you do when you see a black man getting hitted by a Mexican taxi? -Call 911

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What do you call a black pilot? A pilot, you racist.

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What's the difference between a lamp?

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" Want to hear a good anti-joke?! " " Sure! " " Me too. "

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why was the boy sad because he had a cat stapled to his face

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John walked up to his dad one morning and shouted, "Dad, it's my birthday!" Dad said, "Cool, how old are you?" John says, "I'm seven!" Dad tells him to go downstairs and tell his grandpa. John runs down and says, "Grandpa, it's my birthday, guess how old I am!" Grandpa sticks his hand in John's pants and sticks his thumb into his anus. As he pulls his hand out, he pinches his penis. Grandpa says, "You're seven." John says, "How did you know?" Grandpa says, "I heard you tell your dad upstairs."

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A gorilla walks into a bar and gets a banana martini. The bartender thinks that this is peculiar, and then he realizes he is dreaming. He wakes up and tells his wife about this ridiculous dream that he had. His wife ignores him, and the man rolls over and begins to sob because he realizes that his marriage is in shambles.

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A: Did you know Helen Keller had a treehouse? B: No. A: Neither did she.

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Tony Soprano walks into a diner

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What's the difference between and orange? The horse wasn't wearing a saddle.

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How do you put 4 elephants inside a Volkswagen? You'd have to the change the interior design of the car and probably cut most of the roof. How do you put a Giraffe inside a Volkswagen? You ask her nicely to squeeze in between the four elephants...

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Why did Mary fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock, knock? Who's there? Not Mary.

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What did the homeless man get for Christmas? I don't know, why don't you go ask him?

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roses are red violets are blue i've got alzheimer's ...

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What do you call a lesbian with a penis? Justin Bieber.

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What's brown and sticky? ...A stick.

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What do you call a guy with no arms or legs laying on your driveway? You call him by his name

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What would you do for a klondike bar? Pay the manufacturers suggested retail price.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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