hey i jut met u, and i have alzeihmer, cheese and toast

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What happened to the man who poo'd too much? He started to eat less because his bowell movements started to cause him serious pain.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Which is rather deceiving, Considering that the name 'violet' should naturally insinuate that the object it is describing is violet as well. Violet as a color is generally a deep shade of purple. Therefore, shouldn't the aforementioned plant, the 'violet', be violet in color as opposed to the blue color that is most widely accepted by the general populous?

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Why does the Taliban forbid people from having sex standing up? It might lead to dancing. And then, of course, death.

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How do you torture helen keller? Waterboard her.

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What's the best thing for a hangover? Heavy drinking the night before.

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Why did the man buy his wife expensive flowers? It was their anniversary and he is a faithful husband.

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How do you have se with hellen keller? Very sweetly

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what is worse than finding finding an apple in your worm? Finding your peanut shells in your peanut.

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What do the world and jelly beans have in common? Nothing.

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Why did the long term smoker suddenly stop smoking? Because he had a heart attack.

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What's a boomerang that doesn't come back? A stick

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a white men said to another white men that someone robbed a bank, it was at night and he wasn't wearing a mask, and also the camera couldn't see him, they now found out that he was black.

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How many police officers does it take to secure 3 hooded black men? However many police are on duty.

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A Muslim walks into a bar. No-one survived the blast.

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What's purple, red, green and does jumping jacks. Nothing... that sounds pretty crazy if you ask me.

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Daisies are green, poppies are white, I have a headache.

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What do you call Morgan Freeman at a family reunion? Morgan Freeman.

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I saw a stray dog the other day So I petted it and got on my way.

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What did Helen Keller say to her friend? Nothing. If you didn't know, she was deaf and blind so she had to use Sign Language.

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Why did the Chicken become a medium? To talk to the other side.

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What is fat and white? A polar bear with a glandular problem.

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what do you get if you cross the mafia and the yakuza? a hefty bounty on your head

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Bin laden walks into a bar oh wait he's dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops