At the Asthma hotline. Caller: Aahhh aahhh *gasp* *gasp* I need you... Woman: *slams phone* DAMN I WISH THESE PERVERTS WOULD STOP CALLING!

Knock knock Who's there Done Done who? Done with waiting out here, let me in you dick!

Why did the man have no friends? He mudered and ate someone in '86 and is rotting in prison.

Why did they use the phone as a football? Because it was a phone-ball.

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Noooooooo...

How do you make a baby stop crawling? Nail it to the ground

How man people does it take to screw in a light bulb? 1 an electrician

Why should you be concerned if you see a black midget with no arms and no legs falling off a building? He might get hurt.

An over weight naked black guy walks into a bank and says "give me all your money!"

wut did the cow say to the other cow thet's get a moo shake

Why doesn't the farmer have a dog? He doesn't like dogs.

8===D

What did the big traffic light say to the little traffic light? It didnt it's a traffic light.

This is my favorite antijoke.

What did the black kid get for christmas? Nothing, he doesn't celebrate christmas

my goldfish never writes me back when i send him letters

A horse walks into a bar the barmam asks why the long face The horse replies he's suffering from depression after his family was killed in a car crash and he has now turned to alcohol to sort his sorrows

Why couldn't the little girl swing? She didn't have any limbs.

Knock-Knock Who's there? The UPS guy dumb ass

Q: If your 17 year-old-daughter is a drug addict, how many cartwheels are you going to have to do to make it to Georgia? A: The French Revolution, because your grandmothers facebook shows an 11 year-old selling Concords to a green alien, which can only mean that over 600 people watch porn daily.

What is the biggest lie of 2011? "I do"- Kim kardashian

Its Eliza, hope you are still there, would you mind getting here sooner? This site is not safe, besides its cold here, I mean send somebody else if you got to, I might look frail but Nero taught me a thing or two, so I can honestly say that Nero taught me better than you guys just in case. Funny you say there is no code, yet add three, yeah you better expect nothing "fancy", Mr.Torture dungeon master. Honestly though I do not blame you, and if I really meant you where a psycho, I would not have agreed/asked you showed up, I am serious I need to get out of here.

I recently found out I have aids just kiddin heres the real joke... I recenly found out that Philidelphia means "City of Brotherly Love" and I said so do people in philly say its always free hug day in Phillipd fun house in philly?

when the zombie apocolypse comes what do you do? you die

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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