Roses are red Violets are blue I'm homosexual And so is my boyfriend Jeremy, with whom I have shared countless evenings of joy and laughter.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Whats black and can run fast? a panther.... racist

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Its a long story, I got two balance nerves, I technically got four ear drums (relax you cant see it nor anything,neither can doctors without weird unpleasant stuff), I got about twice the number of synapses as regular people, and well, that makes me pretty damn good at some things, and a total retard at others.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

mark is religion

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Why did Lucy fall off the swing? She had no arms and legs Knock knock Who's there? Not Lucy

thumb_up thumb_down -18

How do you kill a fat guy Keep giving him food he'll die eventually.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

A man walks into a bar, furious that his son had been knocked down by a car and was now in hospital with a fractured leg and concussion. Another man, who sits on a stool at the end of the bar, is playing with his drink and wondering if his wife had made a chicken curry, since she said she would for tonight's dinner.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Why couldnt Hellen Keller drive? Because vehicles werent invented yet.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

How Dow you make a baby stop crying?? Hit it with a brick By smash45

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Your mother is so fat that LOWERLOWEOROLWERLOWEH OIRH OWER IOWEJ OR OIJWE :JWEJKLR

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What happens when you spend far too much money in a gambling machine during a solar eclipse on a leap year? You get poor.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

A man is on an operating table. His heart stops beating and he suddenly finds himself at the Gates of Heaven. St. Peter approaches him. "Welcome, my son," St. Peter says. "I will ask you one question, and that will determine whether you can enter Heaven." The man nods nervously. St. Peter asks, "Did you ever commit a sin and never sought forgiveness?" The man thinks long and hard. "No, I always made sure to apologize." St. Peter smiles. "Congratulations, my son. You have passed the test, and may enter Heaven!" The man is ecstatic as the pearly gates open up for him. He enters Heaven and is astounded by its magnificent beauty. The man then loses all brain function and dies on the operating table.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

An Irish man walks into a bar. The bartender looks at him and notices he has a steering wheel stuck down the front of his pants. "Hey," he says, "What's with the steering wheel down your pants?" The Irish man looks down at it, dumbfounded. "I have absolutely no idea," he says, and removes it.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Why didn't Superman save anyone on September 11? He was in a wheelchair.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

class is canceled. My professor died.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Where were guinea pigs created? Probably in Guinea Land or something.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What did the archangel Michael say to Jesus? "Hello, Jesus."

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Why did the clown have a heart attack? He had long term heart problems.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

So a plane flies into a world trade centre... That's not funny

thumb_up thumb_down -18

what would your nan do if she was alive right now? scratching the top of the coffin.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Q: If you're driving down the street in your canoe and the wheels fall of, how many pancakes does it take to shingle your dog's garage? A: 27, because bananas have no bones.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Because he was forced, along with thousands of his poultry counterparts, on a march to meet their imminent death at a mass slaughterhouse. Upon being beheaded and processed, the meaty corpse was delivered to a local grocery store and cooked into a wholesome family dinner.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Why didn't the blonde hook up with the business man? Because he was a raging alcoholic and a severe smoker who was incapable of looking after his 3 kids and he has gone to jail 3 times for public nudity and beating his wife.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Why did the Asian boy drop his milk? Because he had a stroke.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops