Why do all black men carry guns? They don't. That is a stereotype. Now pants on the other hand, that's a different story.

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What did the rug say to the floor? I got you covered

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Why'd the guy fall off the building? I pushed him

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What did the sailor say to the shore? Ur a beach!

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Why did Mary fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock, knock? Who's there? Not Mary.

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Why couldn't the color blind orphan find his apple? Because he was also blind.

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one time, there was this anti-joke.com joke set-up. It was just like a normal joke set-up. was the anti-joke punchline effective, artful of funny at all? no. it was a plain statement of some facts without consideration for humor. it gets old after you read like 50 of them. it gets REALLY. F*CKIN. OLD.

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What is worse than getting shot in the leg? Getting shot in the head.

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What do you call a horse with bread on its ears? Boris, because that's his name.

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How do you make an emo kid cry? He already is.

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Why can't Vampires go out in the sunlight? Because they don't exist.

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What did the poor family eat for thanksgiving? Food

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Beans, beans, the magical fruit. The more you eat, the more you have consumed.

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What city likes baseball the most? New York

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Why did the cookie go to the hospital? It had cancer.

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Why didn't the scientist discover a cure for apathy? He simply lost interest in it.

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Faith, Family, Friends, those are three words.

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How do you knock a clown off a swing? Hit it with an axe multiple times.

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What did the boy call the man that kicked the cat? "Sad twat"

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What did the kid with no arms and no legs get for his birthday? A basketball.

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"What's up?" "A movie about an old man who takes his house to South America by tying balloons to it, who accidentally brings along a young boy with him and they have an adventure."

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There was an old lady from Ealing Who had a peculiar feeling She lay on her back Opened her crack And pissed all over the ceiling The old lady then lay in her own waste for over two weeks due to neglect by uncaring nursing home staff. Six months later, a hidden camera documentary on underperforming care homes exposed the abuse and neglect and the old lady went to live with her son and his family. In the early hours of May 14th 2011, the whole family were killed in a house fire that gutted the home and saw fires spread to neighbouring houses. Firefighters say the blaze originated in the spare room and was caused by exposed wiring on an electrical blanket. Forensic experts said that the repeated urination on the blanket would likely corrode the wiring due to the acidic content of urine.

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how do you save a black person that's drowning? you blow up their lips

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Why did the boy fall off the bike? Because he was a paraplegic.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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