whats the difference between sand and period blood? You cannot gargle sand.

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Future last words Guess who edition: "This new prototype Ferrari XZ handles like a God even at full speed!...Well, if God had no brakes and his turning ability suddenly disappeared when going at over 300 kilometers per hour that is..." "Uh oh now! Another heart attack! Where is mah medical weed? SHAAAAAROOOOOOON!" "Please haters, lower your guns, I will stop singing! Beliebe me!" Moral: "OMG I AM ONLY THE SIXTH MOST USELESS THING NOW!" "MY BODY IS NOT READY! Urgh mah chest... CHAROOOOOOON!

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A penguin is driving through the desert when his car breaks down. He has it towed to a service station in the nearest town to be repaired. The mechanic tells him that it may be a while so he might want to take a stroll around town, find something to do for a while and check back a little later for an update. The penguin decides that as it is so hot in the desert town, and he is accustomed to a much cooler climate, he might enjoy a bit of ice cream. He walks to the local ice cream parlor, orders a large vanilla cone, and proceeds to devour the treat in a flash, covering himself in ice cream in the process. He has ice cream on his flippers, his face, and all down his stomach; he is virtually covered in the white, sticky goo. Upon returning to the service station to check in on the mechanic and his car, the mechanic say to him, "Well, it looks like the seal on your head gasket leaked, the transmission is shot, and you appear to be covered in ice cream." To which the penguin replies, "Yes, I have made quite the mess of myself. Today just isn't my day."

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What is it about homosexuals that's so gay? What is it about heterosexuals that's so straight? What is it about an apple that's so gay?(Because it's a FRUIT right?) What is it about penises that's so straight?

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Have you seen Helen Keller's house? Well, It's an old style ranch home in a respectable neighborhood.

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Q; What is green and eats rocks? A; The green rock eater... Q;What happens when you through a rock straight up in the north pole? A; The green rock eater eats it..

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*Guy and Jar of Chunky Peanut Butter* Guy; "Hey you're chunky" Peanut Butter; "I know"

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There are two muffins in a oven, the first muffin is chocolate chip and the second muffin is blueberry.

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A Mexican, a Chinese man, and a cowboy are on a plane. The plane is crashing, and they need to get rid of anything to make the plane lighter so thet can glide to safety. The cowboy throws out all of his boots and says we have to many of these. Then the Mexican throws out all of his taco shells and says we have to many of these. Then the Chinese man throws out the Mexican and says we have to many of these.(:

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what does the sloth say to Jonah reincastle? nothing Jonah is the sloth

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What do u call a bunch of white dudes siting on a bench ......the NBA

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Why did the black woman have an affair? Because she had an unsatisfying sex life, her old husband was boring, and she was curious about being with other men.

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The once was a man from Nantucket, Who gave up on his life and said "damn this!" Then he won lots of money, His future looked bright and sunshiny Until one day he suddenly died

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven threatened six's family after insinuations of seven being a cannibal.

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How do you make a mess? Microwave a baby.

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German bedtime story: There once was a boy who liked to suck his thumbs. His mother told him to stop, but he wouldn't. So she cut of his thumbs. Now he has none. Goodnight.

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A black man accidentally walks into a white man. They apologize to each other and carry on with the rest of their day.

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hey justin

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I've never seen a zebra use that crossing.

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What did Joe get for his first birthday? Nothing he died at birth

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What did one elephant say to the other elephant? Nothing. Elephants don't talk.

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what's worse than finding a truck full of dead babys taking them out with a pitchfork

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock Who's there? Not Suzie Thum thump Who's there Bethany Hamilton

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Q:Whats worse then hard nipples A:The holocaust

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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