Why don't traffic lights go swimming? Because they aren't sentient or animate, and therefore can't decide to undertake such an activity. Even if they were sentient, they wouldn't enjoy swimming as the water would damage their electrical works.

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Two monkeys are sittin in a bathtub. The first monkey says to The second, "HEY! pass the soap." The second says to the The first monkey, "DUDE. thats not soap, its a typewriter!!!!"

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chuck norris won the world series of poker using his superior knowledge of counting cards and calculating probability.

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What did the alcoholic say to the blind man? Nothing. But he beat his wife and kids savagely.

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A blonde boards a plane and sits in first class. Another passenger sees the blonde in his seat and tells her she's in the wrong seat. "I'm not moving!" says the blonde. The passenger calls over the flight attendant. "Ma'am, you're supposed to be seated in economy class," says the flight attendant. "Please come with me." "No! I'm not moving!" The flight attendant informs the pilot. The pilot comes out, whispers in the blonde's ear, and then the two have wild sex, right in the open. Oh my God, you should have been there. She had the most incredible rack ever!!!

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I went to the bookstore to buy me a Where's Waldo book. I looked through the store and couldn't find it anywhere.... Well played waldo, well played.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Because the farmer let him out, and he found a road to cross!

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What did the man do when his truck was stolen? He contacted the police, who immediately began searching for the culprit. He then contacted his car insurance company and was soon compensated for the full value of his truck. One day the man was in his new truck listening to the local news and heard that the thief was found and convicted of Grand Theft Auto; his name was Martin Kaiser.

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Whats green, furry and it stole christmas? A Robber with a Christmas tree on his back

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A man walks into a bar He's an alcoholic and it's ruining his family

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Knock Knock!! . . (There is no response as nobody's home)

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whats white and sticky glue

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Guess What!? What?! GIGGITY GIGGITY GOOOOOOOOO!!!!! (ALL RIGHT) OH.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She has no arms. Knock Knock Who's there? Not Sally

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Man: Did it hurt? Woman: huh? Man: Did it hurt when i killed your family?

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-What's the difference between Michael Phelps and Hitler? Michael Phelps can finish a race.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonders new house? No neither has he.

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What do you call a girl with an iq of 13 Dead

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What do you call a banana? A banana.

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What did the Coke can say to the Pepsi can? Nothing it is a inanimate object and cannot speak.

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Why did Beethoven get rid of his chickens? Because they kept saying Bach bach Bach. No. Beethoven was deaf. He couldnt understand what they were saying.

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What do you call a guy that just shit himself? Me

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What do you call a burger made from children with Aspbergers? Cannibalism

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what do call a dead dog in between two planks of wood? big sandwhich.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops