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What looks like half of an apple? The other half.

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What did the clown say when he was denied health insurance? Nothing, he died of his pre-existing heart condition.

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Do you know why the Mexican didn't like hot dogs? I don't know either.

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Why did the African cross the road? Because he was searching for his family after his village was massacred by rebel soldiers.

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What do you call a blue horse with two legs and five eyes? A blue horse with two legs and five eyes.

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YouTube Is Red Facebook Is Blue Porn Hub Is Down You'll Have To Do

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Why did the bartender refuse to let the black man in ? Because the bar was about to close.

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What did the boy with no arms or legs get for his birthday? A bike

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Guest what? Dog

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A Jew, a Catholic, and a Muslim walk into a bar. The bartender says, "What'll you have?" The Jew says, "I'll have a whiskey straight." The Catholic says, "I'll have a vodka tonic." The Muslim says, "I can't drink it's against my religion and I really shouldn't be here."

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Have you heard the one of the two headed man an the horse? Neither have I

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How many people does it take to drive a car? 1 person

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What do you call it when a blonde jumps off the Empire State Building without a parachute? Suicide.

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What is the difference between a Jew and a Muslim? Their religion.

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a man was beating his wife his wife asks him to stop he says no and continues beating her

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What do you call an Englishman, an Irishman and a Chineseman playing football? 3 friends playing their favourite sport.

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Three men walk into a bar and suffer permanent brain damage

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Sorry babe, even if I was I would not tell you, the entire place is surrounded, but within enough of a distance, so we will plant a nice setup around the green shack so everyone assumes his deal was some solo operation, if someone else is heading at his direction now, you are gonna get busted, so you better stay down.

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How many jews does it take to change a light bulb? None, you don't have to be jewish to change a light bulb

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What do you call a redneck virgin? A seven year old who can run faster than her brothers.

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What did one bulbasaur say to one squirtle? Well, first off, pokemon are virtual animals created solely for the enjoyment of entertaining japanese children and causing seizure episodes. This fictional creation then migrated to an american tv market, still maintaining their superficial existence while continuing to promote slavery and the use of round balls that capture your problems and propagate winning through random ball throwing. They are fake, and as they are fake, the bulbasaur said "we are fake"

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"Lassie, Lassie, come quick! Timmy is in the well!" "I'm a dog," replies Lassie. "You folks have ropes, ladders, and opposable thumbs. What the hell could I possibly do to help?" With that final act of disobedience, Lassie was turned into fertilizer.

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I saw a woman get burned alive on the news... That woman was my mom.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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