Knock Knock. Who's there *gun shot*

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Hello

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An astronaut and a cosmonaut are sitting in a bar, discussing who was better. The cosmonaut says, "We Russians were the first people in space!" The astronaut says, "That may be true, but we were the first to land on the moon my friend." The cosmonaut turns back to the astronaut and says, "Yes, but we shall be then first to ever land on the Sun!" So, the astronaut skeptically asks, "And how do you intend to do that?" The cosmonaut replies, "Simple.......we will go at night." Thank you to David Cross

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Why didnt the homeless man eat the cheese? Because he died right before he ate it. :-(

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A ginger kid and his 5 friends walk into a bar

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Why was Billy crying? Because he had a frog stapled to his face.

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Q: How do you get an elephant in a refrigerator in three easy steps? A: You open the refrigerator door, you put the elephant inside, you close the refrigerator door. Q": How do you get a giraffe in a refrigerator in four easy steps? A": You open the refrigerator door, you take the elephant out, you put the giraffe inside, you close the refrigerator door.

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What did the woman say to her rapist? I've had better.

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What's red, hairy, and squishy? Helen Keller in a blender.

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Why did santa cross the road? He didn't he is not real.

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i like my babies how i like my potatoes..... skinned

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How do you put an elephant in a taxi? You open the door, make sure the elephant is seated confortably, and close the door.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 had two penises.

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why did the man shave his balls cause they were unnecessarily hairy

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven hundred and eighty nine.

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Whats gay and smells like paint? A gay man covered in paint.

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A black man walks into a house and is shot because it is not his house and it is 2 in the morning.

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A fireman walks into a bar. Everyone has burned alive already, and he's too late to save them.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's a women.

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I hope your not allergic to bees Because your about to be attacked by a live tiger.

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Whats black and blue and doesnt bruise? a bruise.

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Why did the boy fall down the stairs? Because he tripped.

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A dog walks into a bar. The owner got a fake service dog identification and everyone really enjoyed it.

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What is the best way to run a race? Start out fast, run fast in the middle, and finish fast.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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