Why was the baby crying? Because it was on fire.

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What did one cow say to the other cow? Moo

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Q: Why did the Westboro Baptist Church picket the gay marine’s funeral? A: Homosexuals are a plague sent by Satan to destroy the fabric of America.

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What's 2+2? Gonorrhea

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What is the difference between your mom and a vacuum? The vacuum does not use your mom to clean the floor since it is an inanimate object and can not control people.

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A man walks in to a bar. He gets a cuncussion and his heath insurance isn't enough to cover his physical therapy. He dies poor and alone.

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How did the newborn baby come out of a man? It was ejaculated as a sperm from his testicles

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What do you call a Mexican that sails a ship? A sailor

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I'm not sure, but the farmer must be very upset about the loss of one of his chickens.

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roses are green violets are green i was drunk last night

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why did the slytherin cross the road twice? ... because they are double-crossers.

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Q: Why is 6 afraid of 7? A: 7 is a registered sex offender.

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Knock knock. Who's there? The police, you murdered ten people.

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Why was the elf sad Because a polar bear ate his family

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What happens when you ask a blind guy to drive you somewhere? What happens if you ask a blind guy to drive? You will end up in a four way accident with 8 people dead 2 of which children and 1 baby. You might survive but the blind guy won't so you will have to go to court for him on the issue. You realize that you are terrible when it comes to the law and you get yourself thrown in jail for 2 years. When you get out you are so tired of getting butt raped that you go out and do it to someone else. Then you go back to jail an the process repeats it's self because this is the American justice system. We could work on it a little bit. But yeah, don't ask a blind guy to drive, your butt says thanks.

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they told me not to write here but i did

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Why are people so quiet at golf game? Because its such a boring sport.

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how do you know if your friend is your best friend? if he cries you cry, if he laughs you laughs, if he jumps out a window you laugh again.

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What did the Pedophile say to the small girl? I have served my sentence and been successfully rehabilitated. Please continue playing out in public without fear of being sexually assaulted.

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what's worse than people who aren't funny? ryan vallee

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Why was Rodney afraid of Chung Lee? Because Chung Lee is an intimidating person, capable of literally ripping your face off.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Cause he felt like it.

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What happened when the dinosaur walked into a lake? It got wet

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Why did the turtle take so long on his run? Because he never went on a run he walked.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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