What do black people do with M&Ms? They eat them.

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these are shit

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What would Steve Jobs be doing today if he were alive? Dying.

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“When life gives you lemons, don’t make lemonade. Make life take the lemons back! Get mad! I don’t want your damn lemons, what the hell am I supposed to do with these? Demand to see life’s manager! Make life rue the day it thought it could give Cave Johnson lemons! Do you know who I am? I’m the man who’s gonna burn your house down! With the lemons! I’m gonna get my engineers to invent a combustible lemon that burns your house down!”

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall red... That depends in how hard you throw them.

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You dropped something.... Yo lip

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In soviet Russia...things are different

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nothing

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What do you call a dear with no eyes? A no-idear

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A Penguin walk into a bar and asks "Have you seen my brother?" And the bartender replies "What does he look like?"

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Two little boys are talking to each other: - My dad's dick is soo biig! - Eh, my dad's dick is small but it still hurts...

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Q: what is the best way to pick up jewish chicks. A: with a pickup line and possibly a gift such as chocolates or flowers

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My girlfriend told me "Give me twelve inches and make it hurt" I ejaculated prematurely and fell asleep.

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Why did Sally fall of the swing? Because I hit her with a shovel.

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whats worse than the smell of nail polish? burning jews.

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Did you hear the one about the deaf guy and the rhinoceros? Neither did he.

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what's the difference between a blonde and a mosquito? when you slap a mosquito it stops sucking:)

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Somebody stole my goat, now I can't enter it in the fair

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Why is six afraid of seven? Because seven is a registered sex offender

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Why did Sidney drop her ice cream? A refrigerator fell on er

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how many licks did it take the boy to get to the center of a tootsie pop? he died of cancer

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Who cut the cheese? It's sliced so evenly.

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How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh? Eight, because there's one tickle per tentacle!

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What did the homeless man say to the rich man? Can i have some food?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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